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Mission name: Debbie's First Mission For You
Client: Male Snail
Location: Armarus Park - Male Restroom
Slots: 2-34
Day type: It's May 29: ODD
Details: Male Snail waits in the Male Restroom of the Armarus Park

Udale smiled in awe of the Armarus Park and not because of its natural beauty! He was happy and smiley because Mars recruited him to be on a mission party with Lazuli and Esmeralda. Well, Udale thought Mars was angry about how he, Udale, couldn't get Violet for some reason and probe her. But in Udale's defense, it was Mars's fault for letting that Errant Valkryie, who's the worst at directions, go on her own. "So! I smell hotdogs! Let's have a picnic, guys!" after all, he was carrying a picnic basket.

"No, Dale," he wrinkled his forehead, "we're here for a mission, not for a picnic." Mars started to wonder why he brought along that dimwit called Udale and these two broads. He probably figured that he could play along and befriend them. Thus, his uprising against Mavis could actually happen without just him uprising. Would it even be called an uprising, anyway? Probably not. He'd be a quitting his six figure job.
He opened the door to the male restroom, "Of course," he began with a handsome smile, "we can have a picnic afterwards." He held the door for the three other Indigo Societyians and soon slipped into the bathroom. Before doing anything else like calling for Male Snail to slither out, he locked the door. "Male Snail? Indigo Society at your convince."

And, just in a split second, Male Snail slithered out of his hiding spot. And well, Male Snail wasn't a snail at all! He was just one sexy piece of work, who self named himself Male Snail. "Hi-dy do," he pulled off his dark blue leather cap and winked at the Indigo Societyians. "No need for introductions. 'Cause I already seen your pictures on MercBook. Lovely top in that one shot, Udale," referring to the low cut top Opal had in Udale's picture. You can barely see Udale and instead a whole lot of Opal's rack.
"Now," he crouched over and played with the tooth pick in his mouth, "let's see here. I need you three to go to that bandit town and pucker up. 'Cause I need you all to raid that saloon over there. It's been seriously bugging me for two days! I have a dead chick in my private room. Go clean it up and shut down that joint."

Mars rolled his eyes, "How in the world is that a mission, sir?"

"Hmm, I was hoping you wouldn't say just that," he shrugged. "I guess you Indigons need something tougher. Always, always," he mumbled and somewhat almost crazily. His voice seemed to echo within the bathroom. "Go over to Krypton and get me the vampire king's woman. I want her," he licked his lips.

"You heard him, team," yes, team meant that they were close. "Let's head over to the bandit town for a quick stop and get our asses over to Krypton."

"But, why the vampire king's woman?" Udale asked pathetically, which Male Snail rolled his eyes. So, Udale shut up and led the way to the Indigo speed racer, which was just a nice bulletproof car in the shade of blood red. But, he smacked himself in the door, for it was locked.

"Ugh," he cursed under his breath and unlocked the door. Thus, leading everyone to the car as Male Snail's laughter echoed in their minds. "So, team? Got any questions or comments?" his seat belt clicked into place.

Mars now had a puzzled look on his face, but it disappeared quite quickly when Udale corrected the ladies. "No, no," he calmly explained, "we're just kidnapping the vampire king's woman. Not the vampire queen or anything. I thought you'd learned that in history class." Of course, history class wasn't mandatory for Indigo Societyians. In fact, it was only mandatory for Udale and just him. But, he did drag Opal and Felix there. "Anyway, Male Snail doesn't 'date' or 'reproduce'! He's asexual like," he paused, trying to recall his biology class, which was also mandatory for just him, "pandas."

"You mean starfishes," Mars corrected. He wasn't about to have his three hench-people to get confused over biology! He coughed and pulled with great strength to get his class back into order, "Thanks Esmeralda," he smiled with an air of gratitude, "the GPS on the SpeedRacer is broken, and I've been too busy to fix it." He shoved the key into the ignition and turned it. Then like any driver, he shifted into drive, and stepped on the gas. "You're right about that Esmeralda. Male's a supporter and sponsor of our little powerful group. Heh, I remembered when Mavis had to do missions and little jobs for him. She was tired of it, but she eventually won him over to our side. And hey, is it alright if I call you Esme?"

Mars, oh the cold hearted Mars could not help but smile too. He wasn't smiling at the gleeful atmosphere of the vehicle. Oh no, he wasn't. He was smiling rather joyous that his plan to befriend these people was being to come into a great end. The end with them thinking and eventually picking him over Mavis. His Indigo Society take over would work perfectly. "Mhm," he hummed so gently to Esme's words about Mavis, as he maneuvered the car towards Bandit Town.

Udale perked up at the mention of Mavis's name. She was his best friend and trusted adviser. "Ah right! I remember that. She would come home all stinky and mad for whatever reason, but I always cheered her up and blew away those clouds," he recalled and had his hands on his cheeks like a child with rosy cheeks. His lips moved in a fashion that seemed like he was blowing bubbles, "She told me Male Snail ordered her to scoop up poop on his ranch."

"Uh, let's not get into that," the red head wanted to hide behind the wheel, yet the seat belt around him was strapped on too tight for him to do so.

"He made his money through selling various animals for either food or companionship," Udale added. Then, he paused wondering why Male Snail wanted the vampire king's woman or why a hooker died in his room, "Huh, I always thought Male Snail was on the docile side." Mars quickly died inside; he had already knew the reason why Male Snail sent them to retrieve the vampire king's woman. And well, the answer is quite simple and a bit sad for the most part. He had always wondered why a rancher would sponsor a mercenary group, but he now knows why.

"Well, I have to say that the dead hooker," Mars pointed out to not raise any suspicions on how Male Snail isn't promiscuous nor scary, "won't take us too long to dispose of." Yes, wouldn't that make the two girls think that the Indigo Society isn't the lamest group ever if they can dispose a dead body just like that. What this narrator means is that Mars had an image of Indigo Society to represent. And, it didn't help with how Male Snail had to kill a con artist, yes, a con artist. Then, he called that con artist a hooker, which was fine but only when Mars is the only one cleaning Snail's messes. 'God, they're going to find out that most of the jobs IS gets from Snail are cleaning jobs and stealing a vampire's cow.'

"Why would you say that?" Udale innocently asked.

Mars grumbled, "Because a dead hooker could be just thrown away in a garbage can. Nobody cares for someone who sells their body, and the fact that she was killed in that lawless bandit town," he glanced at the rear view mirror. "Sorry, Esme and Lazuli. I should have asked. Is there a better and more efficient way to get rid of a dead body?" Mars would just usually throw acid on those dead bodies for Snail, but maybe, these two had some good ways to dispose bodies?

"I suggest a humane way," Udale smiled like a baby, making Mars regret bringing him along.

Mars smiled at how Lazuli knew about the ways of disposing a body. "Good, I think we'll just have get up there see," he shifted into park. Time moves fast when you're talking about disposing a body. They were just outside of the saloon that Snail referred to. Well, he never told the mercenaries the name of the saloon, but there was really only one saloon in the bandit town. It's a town full of simple criminals. That's why there's no law. "Udale, you're charge of shutting down the saloon by whatever means," yes, assigning this lame guy to fight a whole bunch of outlaws was a kind of punishment. "Esme and Lazuli? We're going upstairs and cleaning up that dead body, good? Good." It was better to keep the usefuls closer than the unusefuls.

"Okie dokie!" the unicorn man clapped his hands and bolted out of the car. He skipped into the saloon. "Hey everyone! I have some bad news. I have to shut down this saloon, so please get out of here as fast as possible."

The bandits stared at him. One of the older saloon girls piped up, "Hey, cutie. Where you from?" She tip toed in her sharp heels to Udale and caressed his face. Then, she slapped him. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? SHUTTING DOWN OUR ONLY SALOON?"

Udale fell to the floor and mustered up a smile, "Well, I wanted to be polite, but I guess I have to show you my little friend!" He hopped up and morphed into his unicorn form. He charged at the main beams of the joint and crashed into each of them. The bandits and the saloon girls hollered in fear, but did nothing because the building quickly collapsed onto them.

"Er," Mars stared from the car. "That was really quick, and he didn't even mess up the second floor." He sweated. Udale was a bad variable in his game, but he did the job. "Okay, let's enter through a window," he unbuckled the seat belt and came out of his car. There was only one private room in the saloon anyway. What a simple town. Mars assumed the leader role and kicked a window, causing it to shatter. He slid in and quickly face palmed. The dead hooker that Snail killed was very much alive and was a man.

"Oh my Armarus!" that bald man said as he held his bleeding stomach. "Please help me! Please! Male Snail did this to me! I was just going to give him fifty pounds of fake-." Before the bald con man could explain what he and Male Snail were doing, Mars smacked him unconscious.

"Okay, change of plans. We're going through with the humane way by kidnapping this guy."

((Lol, you quoted me wrong))

"Erm," everything was going so fast for Mars! It was like everyone in this little group knew what his plan was all about! He just wanted to blush at this point. "Back where we came from?" he raised his hand and exited through the window, "I have a brown sack in the trunk. We'll put him there and stick him into the trunk." He unlocked the trunk and opened it. He look out the sack and shook it to make open wide. "In we go."

Mars was rather shivery and displeased about he heard. If Male Snail was gay, then what would Mars be? From all of those times he had to help out Snail with something, was Snail having ulterior motives? Did he want to date Mars? Was it why he was always so, so kind to him and not to Mavis? Wait. Mars shook away those weird thoughts. Mars wasn't into men, neither was Snail! Snail had several girlfriends, and this merc knew only because he had to help Snail out to get rid of them. 'They were all very clingy, so Snail preferred clingy chicks?' Mars sighed and asked himself why he was so concerned about Snail. Snail wasn't with that man for sexual reasons. They were rather doing business together, and Mars only knew that from past experiences. Yes, Snail gets wrapped up in scams all the time. He also stabs them with a blunt butter knife. Then, he smashes a tray over the con. The moral the story is just that Snail never learns.

He shut the trunk. "Hey, hey," he wagged his finger at Lazuli, "This isn't a van. This is the Red Racer. She's my only love," he sighed and motioned for the girls to enter the car. He couldn't help but feel that he was forgetting something. He hopped into the driver's seat and seat belted. "To the island of vampires."

Before he could say, "Who's that?" he stopped himself and blinked. They were already on the highway and all. It was just three miles until Krypton and four miles back to the bandit town. No, Mars wasn't going back for that baby of a mercenary. He didn't want to get behind schedule. No way! Besides, Udale might be dead. "Uh, looks like we had a causality. Let's have a moment of silence," he fought a smile down. Then, he looked over to his rear view mirror and saw the image of a black unicorn galloping majestically behind them. Mars pulled over to the side and waited for Udale to morph back and get in. "Uhm. Well, he found us," he tried to smile but he was disappointed that Udale wasn't smushed under the saloon.

"You guys!" he whined as he opened the car door and scooted in, "you forgot me! But, good thing I picked up your scents." Gross and stalkery, Udale.