angry_zombie
Looking to my left
, darkness.
Looking to my right
, nothing
.Seeing no path and no light
.Feeling no warmth just cold
. Screaming my lungs out
, yelling to you
.Wishing you could
hear.Remembering no
one's there
. Running around confused
, searching for feeling
.Needing a connection
.Wanting someone beside me
.To me this read more like song lyrics than a poem. I felt that the short lines added to the isolated/cold mood of the poem, which is good. I also like the way you use the first stanza to appeal to the senses. There is something about the second line that i personally didn't like. I can see them being surrounded by darkness or by nothing, even by both, but the way you show it as one on each side of the person didn't really seem to make sense of me.
Just a few problems i should mention:
Firstly, this poem had no punctiation. Punctuation is important in poetry, to define where pauses go. I have added in my own punctuation in red, however it does not necissarily have to be written like this.
There were also several spelling errors. These are changed and written in blue.
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