It's time for me to leave soon," My friend told me again. He told me several times, but I was unable to realize the gravity of the situation.
"Hey-did you hear me?" He looked at me, concerned.
There we sat on the ancient park bench- our secret hideaway. It was the perfect place to get away, since it was secluded by several trees and bushes.
I sat beside Him, staring down at my old sneakers, tattered and ripping at the edges. The wind blew through softly, making the trees whisper and sing softly. His voice yanked me back to reality.
"Yeah..." I said absent minded. I sat up straight, and then looked at Him, a blank expression painted on my face. "I heard you."
He broke away from my gaze and looked around, trying to change the subject.
"We had a lot of good memories here, didn't we?"
"Yeah, we did."
"Remember that time when--"
"We found that poor squirrel? Yeah."
"Yes....that time."
We were quiet for several moments, remembering all the wonderful times we spent together in our own little piece of the world. A melancholy tune slowly drifted into my mind, making my eyes sting as I thought about how I might never see Him. He was to board the twenty-fifth spaceship heading out to the fifth moon base--He was part of a special space organization.
Since we were younger, He wanted to see what was beyond our small community on Earth. He was not content with knowing that all there was to space were stars and planets. Now that we were older, he was finally able to apply for a position on the USO- the United Space Organization. With His intelligence, He was accepted easily.
Several moments later, we both stood up and climbed to the top of 'our tree' to watch the sunset.
"I'm going to miss this," He confessed, His eyes glued to the flaming ball of fire. He turned towards me, smiling. I thought I saw a small tear in His eye. "I'm going to miss you, too."
I was taken aback. Did He really mean it? He was going to miss me? I nodded, turning back to the sunset, trying to hide my own tear.
Was He really leaving, and possibly never returning?
"It depends on how well it goes. The chief said we might be there a few years- maybe more." I remembered when He told me this several months ago. A few years- maybe more echoed in my mind as I stared at the sunset until my eyes began to see yellow dots. Late into the evening, we climbed down quietly, unlike our usual playful selves. We walked each other home more slowly than usual, a tense silence creating a wall between us. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, but I wasn't able to find the right words. My mind was frozen, unable to will my mouth into telling Him what I wanted to say. We reached my house, and we hugged each other goodbye--until tomorrow. I opened my bedroom door, retelling myself all that had happened that day. I changed into my pajamas and sat on the bed, looking down at the old brown carpet beneath my feet. My heart was in excruciating pain, yet my eyes were dry. I forced them to cry, feeling horrible and angry. I sighed and lay down in my bed, closing my eyes tightly. I felt like a horrible robot devoid of feeling. I slowly drifted off to sleep, thinking about a vague memory of him and me when we first met.
The next morning, I awoke early. Today was the day I would see Him off as He boarded the ship. I tried to imagine how everything would plan out. I pulled on a light blue dress and slipped on some sandals. I walked out of my room, grabbing my sun hat on the way out. I met him at the corner of my neighborhood.
"What a pretty dress, madam," he told me, grinning. I smiled at him as I placed my hat atop my long brown hair.
He had on the official uniform that all cadets wore-- a white suit with the initials USO embroidered in gold onto his chest pocket. He looked quite handsome as he stood there, the sun barely shining over the top of the hills in the distance. He held out his hand, and I took it gladly, as if I were a toddler struggling to stand up and walk. We took several buses, finally arriving to the departing station at ten in the morning. We stepped out into the bright sun, walking toward the large crowd of people standing around a space shuttle.
"This is it," he told me. I could sense the excitement in his voice.
"Yeah...this is it." I smiled weakly at him, then glanced toward the large space shuttle he was about to board.
He hugged me tightly, laying his head on my shoulder for a moment. I wrapped my arms around him, our bodies forever intertwined. I could feel warm tears seeping out of my dry eyes. I sobbed quietly, hearing him do the same. We stood there, hugging each other forever. I wanted, deep in my soul, for this moment to last forever. I wanted to hold onto Him forever, and never let Him escape my grasp. I knew this was selfish of me, and I willed myself to let go of Him as we heard the five-minute warning.
We looked into each other's eyes, searching for something. Did He want to tell me something? We quietly stood by, waiting, as we desperately (though it didn't show) stole our last glimpses of each other.
"All Aboard!" yelled a young man's trembling voice, obviously anxious.
He began to walk away, and I reached out to grab his arm. I missed by a split second, and watched miserably as he crossed the gate and climbed up the few steps towards his dream. Before stepping in, He gave me a final glance, our eyes meeting. Time seemed to stop as we looked on, possibly never seeing each other again.
Now was my chance. I stepped forward, as if implying something. He took a step down, and I looked at him for a few moments more. I couldn't hold it in any longer. These three terrible yet beautiful words were tearing me up inside, scrambling to get out. He stared, waiting for me to say them.
After a few moments, He sighed and smiled at me, finally climbing into the space shuttle.
"I love you!" I blurted out, tears welling up in my eyes. Did he get it? Did he hear the message I've been wanting to tell him my whole life, ever since we met? I'll never know....
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