|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 8:38 pm
Inside this realm of nothingness
There is nothing that can exist
No hopes, no fears, no sense of time
No places, no faces, no moon or sunshine
Inside this realm of darkness
There's nothing to make mention of
No concept of dislike nor hate
No concept of affection or love
Inside this realm of nowhere
It's always between here and there
And you forget in the end
You were ever going somewhere
Inside the realm of stillness
Everything is in one place
There is no movement of anything
Not the legs, nor arms, nor face
This place of nothingness
This dismal, dark pit
This pathetic black hole
Is the place in my heart where you'd been.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 7:12 am
I think that poem is really ... nice. Grammatically its insufficient which translates to my reading it- I don't know where you want moments and etc to occur because you don't show them.
It's a beautiful poem, it just has room to improve a little bit. It's a very... lonely poem I suppose is how I think of it when I read it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
