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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:06 am
I am currently writing a partial mystery story. There just happens to be a twist, the two main characters are vampires. I have taken the basic info on vampires and kind made my own version. What I was aiming for was to have a story where the traditional bad guys, example: vampires, became, not nescessarily good, but the main characters and such. Please tell me what you think, I`d appreaciate tips and any critism,[preferably constructive critism]
Thank you! =)
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:06 am
A blank look spread across Marina`s face. Michael stood up, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “I never liked her.” He laughed maliciously. “Dude, what your problem? I heard she liked me!” “As if, she wouldn`t do nothing for you. She hates us” Jeremy sighed and looked down at the pale face now covered in blood, the blond hair streaked with it. “Fine.” He stepped over her and followed Michael down the road. “What are we doing now? I`m not hungry.” “Neither am I.” Michael thought for a moment. “Restaurant?” He came to the conclusion that maybe this life wasn`t so bad. He hated blood and guts, horror films and Halloween. How he ended up being a vampire was beyond him, a complete mystery. “s**t!” Jeremy stumbled through a puddle. “Only water.” He sighed, relieved. There was always someone following them, or Michael at least, he just happened to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Mainly the day they both started preferring human flesh over ravioli, and biting girls rather than kissing them. Vampirism was not all is was chocked up to be. Not in their eyes anyways. “Hey,” Jeremy suddenly thought of something, surprise, surprise. “Can we ever get back to being human?” Michael kept walking, it wasn`t a good idea to stop nowadays, not when he was outdoors anyhow. “No, Jer, technically we`re dead, or the un-dead rather. We shouldn`t be walking around, or talking. We should be six feet under.”
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Michael trod on a piece of something as he pushed open his door. He muttered a light curse and stopped to look at the bottom of his sock-clad foot. A red stain was beginning to form, feeling sick he looked quickly away and limped down the stairs. At the bottom of the wrought iron, spiral staircase, he tripped over a box full of old newspapers, with headlines such as; Prime Minister Pronounced Dead, Wife`s Shock, and, Mass Murder. None were very catchy or original, but they served their purpose. Michael slowly got to his feet and wiped blood from his nose. Lately he had been prone to random cuts and bruises with no explainable source. He wasn`t fond of bighting his tongue so often either, the taste of blood all to often filled his mouth and he couldn`t stand to swallow. Opening the front door he knelt to pick up the days newspaper from the step. A bold headline claimed simply Another. He flipped to the article and read;
The Oaks have added another tragic story to their book of such. Eighteen year old Marina Finley was found late last night on the corner of Barry and Main street. It seems that, once again the victim was found with two small marks on her neck. It is now the belief of the authorities, brought their attention by Professor Jane Grey [newly appointed to the case], that these are indeed “Bite marks.” “Given the distance between the two marks and the fact that they are in the exact same place on each individual victim…” Professor Greene is still trying to lay out every possible angle before she makes any accusations but, she feels she closing in on that point.
Michael sighed and tossed the paper into the box with the others. The entire article wasn`t exactly “need to know” information. More or less, telling him what he already knew.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:27 pm
I've heard of a mystery novel with a vampire. Like, the main character falls in love with a vampire or something weird like that. Can't remember the title or author, though. So are the vampires "evil" but the main protagonists? Or are they "good"?
But I'm really curious to know what the mystery aspect is.
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 10:16 am
[Nishin I've heard of a mystery novel with a vampire. Like, the main character falls in love with a vampire or something weird like that. Can't remember the title or author, though. So are the vampires "evil" but the main protagonists? Or are they "good"? But I'm really curious to know what the mystery aspect is. the vampires are good, I think, the problem is I`m not sure exactly how to go about telling their story without making it sound like some stupid fluff novel.
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:14 pm
Well, it's been done before, and isn't really what I'd call a twist, so as far as that goes, you're nothing special. Regardless, from what you've written there, I think it's really good and that you should continue on it.
Well, you could always take notes on what their personalities are supposed to be like, and whenever they are doing something, go back to the notes and check if it's supposed to be that way. Don't be afraid of writing something that goes against your own self. And try to have a timeline beforehand telling of major events that happens in their life, that usually is a good support to make sure they don't go too far off track.
If your writing style is against that though, don't use those methods.
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Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 6:15 pm
Duncan_the_Soulknight Well, it's been done before, and isn't really what I'd call a twist, so as far as that goes, you're nothing special. Regardless, from what you've written there, I think it's really good and that you should continue on it. Well, you could always take notes on what their personalities are supposed to be like, and whenever they are doing something, go back to the notes and check if it's supposed to be that way. Don't be afraid of writing something that goes against your own self. And try to have a timeline beforehand telling of major events that happens in their life, that usually is a good support to make sure they don't go too far off track. If your writing style is against that though, don't use those methods. thanks for your help, yeah, it isn`t really a twist, but is different then anything else I have ever written. Michael- Have you ever heard of a vampire who has a fear of blood?
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Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 9:16 pm
You're welcome. By the by, I actually have an idea for a spin on vampires. Feel free to use it if you want to, I'll probably never use it myself.
What if sunlight in itself technically isn't deadly for vampires, but it makes them age? I don't mean age rapidly, but rather that as long as they are in sunlight, they will age normally? Of course, as long as they aren't in sunlight they don't age. Well, just an idea that you might or might not have use for.
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Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:01 am
thats an interesting idea, I may use that
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