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 Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:00 pm
The sound of blowing winds whipped about nearby Trelweny's house and the sight of sand blowing could be seen in the forest. Soon it died away and Ramses trotted out, leaving a slight trail of sand he totally ignored, as though it was normal.
He still had his 'I am still king' air about him, head held high as he slowly padded his way over to the homes walkway and he looked about as he sat down, as if waiting.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:46 pm
Near the porch, nearly hidden among the small sea of purple Eqyptian blooms, a golden ear flicked at the unexpected sound of an odd breeze. A taste almost of heat flicked in the air and small granules of ... sand? Where one of the sets of Weasley twins stirring up something again? No... the scent of wizard -talaye or anthrobreedable- was not on the air. Rather it was something else. Someone else -whose sent both lifted the purple and gold female's head gracefully even as she felt something drop within the vast expanse of emptiness that she could not forget inside. Ice blue eyes were still cool as they moved to confirm suspicions as to who was there. Something was different about that cold, blue gaze.
Seeing that she was right then seeing that the male just sat upon the path Dea gave a soft internal sigh. A lick here, a lick there, and the few hairs that would otherwise ruffle when she switched from being curled up to standing would remain in place. Slowly, gracefully, the show femme stood and lightly stretched her back legs while being careful of her flowered shelter. In her usual way -which was not much different than her show walk- Dea made her way to where the unexpected 'guest' sat. As usual, her coat, her bearing, her pace were immaculate. Yet... there was something faintly off about her. Something usually in the cold hardness of her eyes that was not there or perhaps something new that was.
Reaching the path she sat, curling golden fanning tail delicately around her paws. [Hello, Ramses. To what do we owe the honor?]
There was none of her usual reproach in the show's voice, but there was something heavy to her meow. Something pulling inside, aching. Almost... hollow and empty.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:53 pm
Ramses did not move from his spot when Dea approached him, but something shifted a bit in his usually stony, regal gaze as he locked his violet eyes on her, as if he could 'feel' the hollowness in her. He bowed his head to her, lifting it back up gracefully, "It is an honor to see you as well Dea. I have come to see how you are fairing..." he said.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:25 pm
As uncomfortable as she was, as much as the desert male had a way of tilting her world off-axis, Dea felt oddly almost at ease. No... that was not right. Calmed, maybe slightly comforted, but not at ease. Not with those eyes that saw things that could not possibly be boring into her. Not with the way his greeting and response caused such opposite reactions to respond inside her -swelling and falling against each other in the pit of nothingness Dea felt there to be like warring tides battering an empty shore.
Dea lowered her eyes, tilting neck and dipping muzzle to reciprocate the bow in a fashion. [How I am fairing...?] Reluctantly Dea brought her gaze back up to meet those violet eyes she almost feared for what they had seen in her. Behind those eyes that fear could almost be seen. Stronger though a loneliness, and something much, much older. Almost buried. Buried... and recently coming close to the surface. Those eyes the only thing that let more of the story really out, for her body was not showing any of it. Even her eyes in their pale ice blue flickered between showing and hiding, the barriers of a lifetime fading in and out in what could be seen as a last attempt to conceal or protect. Why had this male thrown her into such a state? [If you are asking me, I'm not sure I have a suitable answer for you. I am healthy. I've been showing well. What else should I know to say?] The slight ache was there in an almost otherwise dead voice. It was not necessarily an improvement on her usual high & mighty, disdainful manner of speaking. A matter of opinion really. [And you? How do you fair, Ramses?] She had not missed how his almost magical voice had faded any more than she had missed the shift in his eyes -not that Dea knew how to react to either of them.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:34 pm
Ramses looked up as a few birds flew past up above, "I am doing as well as one can in the family I seemed to have found myself in. They are truly....eccentric to put it plainly." He then looked to her again, his tail curling around his paws, "But there is more to you then your physical health. And I feel it is my fault you are in the state you are in." he said.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:00 pm
There was more than a hint of relief in the femme as Ramses looked to the sky. The faintest show of relaxing the tiniest bit. Barely discernible. A simple nod at his response, that the desert would see as he looked at her once more. Her 'family' as it were was quite eccentric in its own way too. Growing far too fast in the show's opinion. And more were coming, more likely than not.
At his words she could no longer meet those eyes that bared her, breaking down protective barriers that had helped her survive. Her head turned a fraction to the right and her eyes lowered equally as much -just enough to break contact. Sadness... and anger. Another cat might have yelled or swatted but Dea kept her cool. Her voice mirrored that attempt, drawing a little more distant. [I look and look and I see nothing of what you said you saw in me. The more I look... the less I am sure I even want it. ] The tip of her tail flicked and Dea's voice dropped. [I look... and I see nothing.]
It was at once confession and accusation, hard to say which made the show more angry. She did not like trusting others. She did not trust them. And yet... she would tell this desert male for what reason Dea did not know nor understand. Perhaps it was his years. Or an unfounded hope that fluttered weakly.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:05 pm
He sighed to himself as he looked away. He would take the blame, for showing her something she wasn't ready for. This is what he got for sticking his little nose into something that shouldn't have been his business. "If you wish, I can help you forget, so you can go back to who you were before I came across your path." he said.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:26 pm
There was a long silence as Dea contemplated that offer. To go back... how many times since that moment had she bemoaned being unable to return to where she had been before? Secure, knowing -confident of who she was and what she was doing.
Protected.
Or so she had thought. Ice blue eyes snapped gracefully to meet violet. A flash of her undirected anger warmed them in a not so good fashion. The softness of her voice an indicator to the level of control she was using. She who had little to no use for emotions was brimming with them -and it did not make her happy. It terrified her. Dea did not want to feel. Feeling enabled them to hurt her. [And what use would that be? Would I forget everything between then and now? Look tomorrow at ribbons I don't remember winning? Not to mention... not to mention...] Whatever it was Dea could not bring herself to say it, again looking away.
[Do you honestly think I should forget it all, Ramses? Should I forget you as well?] Now her ears showed some of her emotions, dipping slightly on the tips. Her voice taking on a hint of lost kitten.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:29 pm
Ramses stepped closer to her, "....what happened? What happened to you back then, before your family. I wish to know so I can help you." he asked. He would not be the one to spill her secrets, having so many of his own that he still held to this day.
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Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:03 pm
She visibly flinched. Not at Ramses' proximity but at the unexpected question that came from his mouth. This was not an answer to her questions. The show sagged slightly beneath the weight of what was asked of her. No one knew. No one knew. Who would she have told anyway? No one ever wanted to know. It had been something so far hidden Dea could almost forget about it. Almost. No one wanted to know... but now Ramses was asking to know. How could he even know, that there was something to tell?
Slowly Dea sank to the ground, her tail shifting to encircle her in this new position. She let her ears fall -perhaps drawing comfort from their closeness. Dea would ask why he asked to be told but the desert male had already given her an answer and it was one she understood just as little. [Why? Why do you wish to help me, Ramses? Why show me even a hint of kindness?] For it was the kindness that had opened the scab of her wound as assuredly as his revelations.
Her voice dropped again, barely a whisper. [Give me a reason... and I ... I'll tell you. I'll tell you what no one else knows.] Inside Dea roared -or part of her did. To let anyone in on her life and her past was to invite them to hurt her. 'He hurts on his own...' The other faction countered and the roaring dimmed.
'How much more, could this male hurt?' Dea did not want to think about it.
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:04 am
He laid himself down as well, "Because everyone deserves kindness, no matter their status in life and you, most of all, should not bare this burden alone. That is why I show you kindness and wish to help you." he answered.
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:57 pm
She most of all? What did that mean? Golden ear shifted the barest flicker. Perhaps later she would ask. For now... now Dea had said for an answer she would tell him. Looking into the distance with a sigh she closed her ice blue eyes. When it came her voice was soft in volume and distant. Very distant. As if reciting something though what was being said had never been voiced. [All I remember of my mother was warmth, though she must have been beautiful. My last owner took me to her house as soon as I was weened. I remember there were many of us then, of course all still white as snow. All pedigree bred, of the highest breeding lineages and most beautiful shows. So we were always told. Our training began the day we arrived. It was a competition within itself. Those that did not make the cut... we never saw again. Mistress must have had faith in our markings. As we grew... there were fewer and fewer of us. We never knew what became of the others. I never knew. For a long time I thought I'd see them in shows... at least it came to me occasionally.
I did not have much time for such thoughts. I had to be focused, learning what Mistress taught and never faltering. To falter... was something I feared worse than death. The unknown disappearing. My coat grew in, and I felt what I can only guess was my first happiness at Mistress marveling and brushing me. I ... wanted to please her. She told me I was going in the first showing she could get me into. It was a week later. I felt prepared. Mistress was pleased with my progress, pleased with my appearance. We were confident.]
What she did not say: though her previous owner had not been cruel, neither was she loving either. Dea could not really grasp yet the loss she had there to put it into words. But it was there, beneath the surface of her words. 'Mistress' was like an item. Dea did not move to wipe away the tear that slipped like a thief from her closed eyes. her voice lowered with old ache. [Mistress had prepared me... but not for the other cats. She had no familiar to translate our talk. They rounded on me. Turned on me. The things they said...] For a moment her voice went out and it seemed the show female could very well burst into tears but they never came. No matter the pain inside her.
[If they were trying to get me to fail in the ring they obviously did not know the depth of Mistress' training. The depth of her hold on me. I showed, and while I showed there was only Mistress, the judges, and me. I outshone them all, to Mistress' pleasure and the other cats' displeasure. Their comments after were worse than the first. Words only... for to fight and damage another cat is like death to a Show...]
She sank lower, head perfectly resting on her paws. Even now... even now it was as if Dea was showing -so that should a judge randomly pass her by she was still perfectly poised and groomed. All but for the lone tear track that had wet the fur from her eye. [It was enough. I ignored my competitors from then on. Easier to be cold and aloof. Soon they stopped bothering. I was left alone, which was how I wanted it. Just Mistress and I and the ribbons which made her smile.]
Was telling supposed to take some sort of weight off of her purple shoulders? If so it had not worked, for Dea felt as if her gold filigree pattern upon her back was weighed down as if bearing a load of lead. The ache inside was worse too. These memories... she hated them. Dea wanted to put them back where they had been -lost & forgotten. Something she had not been able to do since Ramses looked inside her & found those things she did not want to be. Others coming to her, being around her? No! She did not want them near! Near they would hurt her. They always tried to hurt her.
Until Ramses -who instead was hurting her with kindness. Dea almost could not bear it.
There was something, something she wanted to ask him. It could wait. Until she could speak again at least. As long as she did not forget to ask him. Strange how she really wanted to know.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 10:01 am
Ramses listened, not moving, just listened. Even though she kept herself perfectly poised, like she was in a show, he could feel the pain behind her words, the pain of not receiving the love she needed from her ex-trainer and owner, the hurt and betrayal from the other cats who hounded on her and how she had to basically shut herself off from everything and everyone.
He now knew there was a reason there was such a difference between her and the FTC Angelic Morgana. No one knew of her past as a kitten, why her fur turned to bones and blackness and why she bleeded blood, but she had a beauty like no other and she held herself with such pride and regard, it always caught the judges attention and she would earn her first place ribbons. But once the shows were over, she would switch it off and go to being playful and sweet, allowing two leggers to hold her and hug her and the stresses from the shows would melt away from her.
But with Dea....it seemed like the 'Show' button was permenantly on and she didn't know how to turn it off. Yes, it was good to beautiful at showings to earn ribbons, but from what he had observed from Trelweny, it wouldn't make her mad or upset if Dea got second or third place, as long as she did her best. But with her 'show' mode always in place, it kept everyone away and he could see why she always did, fear that they would all ridicule and try to hurt her like the other cats did.
"Jealously and petty words are unbecoming of our kind, that human of before obviously was somewhat blind to keep them around, save for you, she had a good eye. But that is not your home anymore, you do not have to be a Show all the time Dea, I highly doubt anyone here would try to bring you down or hurt in. In fact...there is someone I wish for you to meet. She cannot speak, not like you and I or familiars can, and I have yet to figure out just why so I can help her. She is a show like you, one of the Rare ones, but maybe she can help you learn, help you hurt less."
He wanted her to meet Morgana, but he had doubts over what she would say or do when she saw what she looked like. He, like everyone else in the family, took great offense to anyone or anything saying anything bad about the Morgana's looks and they would all rise to the call and come down on the offender in great waves.
"You ask why I saw what I saw in you is because it is there....behind the Show that you are. There is so much more to you then you think there is, more then your Mistress would allow out, but....I cannot not force you to be who you are....no matter how much I wish I could meet her." he said, standing up and moving to trot away, probably either to leave or retrieve Morgana, he would not say.
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:55 am
An ear flicked at the desert male's words when they came. Jealousy... Dea was perhaps not unfamiliar with it though she seldom thought of the word itself. Then... had he somehow misunderstood her? Or was Dea so unaccustomed to communicating with others that she had spoken incorrectly? Who was he saying Mistress kept around? Once the other kittens were gone... there was only Mistress and herself. Then Mistress gave her to Miss Trelweny before her passing. Dea was sure now Mistress had been very old for a human -at least three times Miss Trelweny's age. Ramses could be correct on her eyesight.
But to not be a Show all the time? What could he mean? She was a Show... even if she was 'safe' here... it was all she knew. No matter what Rames said about what was inside her, Dea only knew one way to be. One way to live. She did not want what he saw -others coming to her. If anything... she only wanted a break in in the loneliness. Not that Dea knew that was what she wanted. Nor comprehended that the oasis of just that was why she not only tolerated the desert male and the strange things he said, but actually on some level sought him out. Even if she never physically went to him.
Hmm? Confused Dea lifted her head. Fear trembled behind that confusion. Meet someone? Who could not speak? She could not meow or... The panic behind her eyes grew. Dea was not sure she could handle another. Ramses was pushing it enough. If she had any idea what this one looked like she would not waiver to deter Ramses his intentions. Dea could not know her reaction to such a one. As it was... she faltered in stopping his motion to leave for other reasons. She was still the Show. She was uncertain why she would want to. Dea had just opened up for the first time in her life and she felt woefully vulnerable. She did not know what to do. Yet still, one paw broke out of place and slid a fraction of an inch toward the desert male. No more.
In the side garden where his charge cared for the vegetables a small rabbit's white ears perked from a sound he heard not with them. A cry... like for help. Below even the subconscious. A cry not to be left alone. But... it was not directed at him. Peter glanced at his charge and sighed softly. His Maree did not hear it. Of course. But he could feel others in the house reacting. *I'll watch her.* They listened... and waited. Each must find their own way. What help Dea would not accept from them, perhaps she would accept it elsewhere.
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Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 10:38 pm
Ramses sat not to far away, as if looking for someone or something, having called for someone and he just waited.
A few minutes later, a small, dainty paw drifted down from the sky and Morgana landed a few meters away from Ramses, attached to her silver collar was a big, blue ribbon, obviously from a show she just left and had just won it. She mewled gently and stepped over to the Desert king, her head held high, pride, beauty and something like regalness just rolling off her. Her wings folded along her sides, her tail curled in a 'show' way. She looked over to Dea and mewled a greeting, but looked to Ramses, tilting her head. When he reached over and tugged the ribbon off her collar, it was almost like a switch for her.
She instantly jumped up and mewled her thanks to him for taking off that blasted ribbon, going from 'Show' to 'Morgy'. She hopped around him, fluttering her wings and rolling about in the grass, not having done it before for fear of ruining her ribbon. She hopped up and made her way to the house, hopping onto the outside windowsill to look inside, mewling in happiness when Angel hopped on the sill inside and the two seemed to have a game of trying to paw at each other through the glass.
She hopped down to the ground when Angel made her way outside and she played around with her niece and the two ran past the desert and the other show, a few meters away. She stopped and turned to her niece, letting out a commanding mew and the kitten stopped and sat down, looking up at her aunt with adoration. Morgy mewed again and Angel stood up, holding her head up, flipping her stubby tail up, much like her aunt had at the moment and the two started trotting together, as if parading around for someone.
Ramses watched the entire thing with amusement in his violet eyes, sitting down and wrapping his tail around his paws.
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