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 Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:36 pm
I need to get this off my chest.. I rarely rant but I need to and none of you know me that well.. except you Dio, so I though I come here to get this off my chest
My boyfriend just broke up with me.. we have been going out for almost 2 years... its all my fault..
I was trying to be nice when he was tired or seemed bored and asked if he wanted to go home early and he took it as me pushing him away..
so here I am.. single, sick to my stomach and ******** suicidal i cant ask him for another chance.. I dont ******** deserve it..and i dont want to be greedy.. he didnt listen to me ******** this s**t, this world, and everything in it.. the thing that pains me the most is he still loves and cares for me a lot... so WHY ********..
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:26 pm
Did you make it clear to him that you were just trying to be nice? 2 years seems like an awful lot to throw away over something that silly =/
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:28 pm
  Darling, don't let something so small ruin something so big. You didn't intend it how he interpreted it. You are in no way to blame.
But if you've explained that you only thought he was bored and wanted to go home, and he stands where he is, then he's probably got some other reason for breaking things off. Two years shouldn't be ended on a misunderstanding.
Talk to him.
But in the end remember, The only men worth crying over would never make you cry. [unless it's out of happiness]
-------
My boyfriend drives me home at night, which is a 30 minute drive each way. I can sleep in the car if I want, so it's his call when I go home.
Even still, sometimes I feel he wants me out of his hair when he suggests I go home. I'm generally tired at that time, and wanting to stay with him. The tiredness leads to me overreacting sometimes & feeling hurt... but once I'm properly awake I realize that I was being dumb & that's not what he meant.
Now he clarifies why he's suggesting I go home..
"Not that I want you to leave, I'm happy with you here, but you seem bored/tired/whatever... would you rather go home?"
<3
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:17 pm
I am going to see if we can talk tomorrow.. today was more of a 'stare at each other without knowing what to say" type moment. which was awkward and also depressing.
I will see if he will listen to me, and if not, I give up.
First boyfriend, first love, first everything.. down the drain in a single sentence
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:21 am
It's a misunderstanding. You did nothing wrong, so don't beat yourself up over it.
You meant no harm, and as long as you tell him that, the ball is in his hands.
<3
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:31 am
My only advice and the best I could give would be:
Listen to Kaze.
She's completly right and I couldn't have put it any better than she has.
Good luck. I hope everything works out for the best for you.
Two years is a whole lot to just throw away over a silly thing such as a misunderstanding of feelings.
If it doesn't work out when you talk to him then,
it was never ment to be?
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:02 pm
Thanks to you both Rin and Nny, i just feel more lost and confused with myself and what path to take in life. now that the person who has always supported what i was doing isnt a part of my life anymore, i just feel empty. I guess I need time to think.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 4:53 pm
Well. I didn't mean to. >_< *iFail*
Yes. Lots and lots of time to think. Reconsider your options maybe.
You shouldn't question YOURSELF just because the person you believed to have (or still does) loved you.
You should be the same person you are and still have the same thoughts and pathway as before.
Just this time if any of those thoughts or pathways had that guy in it they are/ were a dream or lie. I perfer to call them a dream. Unless they sucked a** and you hate everything about them, then you can call them a lie. *thumbs up*
Anyways. I don't want you to feel worse about youself. You are your own person. My opinion should not matter. Like I said, it's an opinion, not fact.
Get to a quiet room, have your favorite (non-energy) drink and maybe even your favorite book. Sit down. Relax. And when you are ready, rethink everything you need to.
c:
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:56 pm
nah, actually we had a talk today. Im glad I got things off of my chest to him that needed to be, and I asked him for that second chance, he said no.. so I guess it wasnt meant to be
I feel a bit better, the only thing I wish from him is good luck, and happiness with anything he does in his future and I hope he will feel better too, he seemed hurt by this too =)
I also have mai friends who are hanging out with me and stuff =3 i should be ok, I just hope I can still talk to him and see him
and none of waht I posted before was any of your fault so dont worry about it, i was just thinking about how he supported me during school and he was the one who always stood by me. And now that pillar is missing, I have to be strong without it
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:38 pm
Alright. c:
Well I'm glad everything worked out..
At least I think it worked out.
^_^;;
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:11 pm
SAME HAIR, DIFFERENT BLONDE!! O_O
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 5:14 am
yes , me and nny do have the same hair.
I guess it worked out. Though i made the decision to put a veil on my heart so i dont hurt anyone else ever again. I've done enough damage to one boy... im not doing it to anyone else
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:21 am
HEY. None of that.
No tossing away your chances at love because he can't over a MISUNDERSTANDING. You suggested he go home out of consideration for his happiness.
He's the one hurting you because he's laying the blame on you, when it's him who won't admit his mistake.
Look, put love aside for now, sure. But don't you dare block off your heart. I did that before, for much worse [starting with things being intentional]. I turned into a cold-hearted, unfeeling b***h. I use the character for Rin that means cold because of this.
I hurt more people when I was in that state than ever before or after.
And when I found someone who I knew I wanted to love, the feelings just wouldn't come. And he stood by me and took what I saw as my using him, until finally my heart thawed and there was an overwhelming flood of emotions.
As little girls we're fed the stories of love at first sight and happily ever after. Unfortunately, life isn't a fairy tale.
Love and learn. As long as you enjoyed the relationship while it lasted, then it's something you can always cherish. Take it with you throughout life, and use what you've learnt to help with future interactions, maybe someday even future relationships.
<3
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Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:17 am
Yeah I know you are 100% right Rin, I always beat myself up as part of my personality so no one else will get hurt or worried about me. All I could ever want from him is just his happiness, and the other day I seen him smile =) I I felt so happy just to see he was smiling and still the same. I wish him all the best. I really do, and whoever he loves next will be the luckiest person alive.
Its a bit too soon to tell what will happen in the future, I guess its just normal for me to feel ugly on the inside and outside. and its also a bit too hard to tell if this "lets be friends thing" will actually work out since everywhere I go reminds me of something he said or did. I also have good friends to help me out too. so thanks everyone for your advice.
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Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 7:02 pm
another update!
Looks like he found someone else already.. its been less than a week but there are pictures of Facebook with his arm around some pretty girl D=
back to depression mode..
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