I'm actually surprised that none of us have mentioned the comedic stylings and genius-ness that is Mitch Hedberg! How can we go on without some of his classic one liners and non sequiturs, such as

"I'm an ice-sculptor. Last night I made a cube."

"If you get lost in the woods, ******** it, build a house. Well I was lost, but now I live here!"

"I wanted a candy bar, so I put some money in the vending machine. The button I was supposed to push was 'HH', so I found the 'H' button and pushed it twice. ********' potato chips came out, man, 'cause they had an 'HH' button, for Christ's sake! You need to let me know! I'm not familiar with the concept of 'HH'. I did not learn my AA BB CC's. God God Dammit Dammit."