Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hello.

I am Mr. Welldone.

I watched the copulation which conceived you and I screamed in horror. I saw you birthed like a hatched parasite, hairless and gagging, and I grit my teeth in hatred, sliding them over each other again and again and again and again and again until they were flat and smooth. I will watch you wither and grow old, as your body congeals and the weight of your years pulls your flesh from your body and I will grin and snicker, laugh and laugh. I will see your desiccated corpse pumped full of superficial chemicals, interred into the dirt to feed the eyeless, subterranean creatures of the earth and I will howl because I know where you are going.

I know where you are going.

I know the secrets of this earth, as I knew the secrets of the one before it. I will bring about the End, and you cannot stop me.

You read these tales and you do not know that with each you read, with each you create and recreate, with each you retell, with each you claim ownership of, you beckon the End.

For there will be some among you who will try to verify these tales. You will seek them out. Those that do so with passion will find that many of them are falsehoods… but some will be harrowing at the very least. Others will leave you scarred for the rest of your fleeting days. Others still will leave you stripped of your flesh.

And that flesh will be used to build more, and more, and more tales. Twisted and stretched to cry out to more curious individuals.

And I will smile, my teeth clenching together tightly, tightly, tightly until one cracks with a satisfying pop. My eyes unblinking; watching everything fall into place; wide and empty; weeping and shriveling with delicious, protracted agony.
I am so excited. So very excited.

Even as you read this, some among you are emboldened. The sick part of you which lusts for the End whispers into your mind, making you want to see the horror, the pain, the blood, the death. You want to see it. You want to see what lies hidden in the Dark, beyond sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch.

Come.

Come and see.

I will show you such wonderful things.

It’s early in the morning. The sun won’t be up for another couple of hours. You’re fast asleep in bed, lost in a dream, when the phone rings. Rather than waking up, you roll over and cover your head with a pillow. Hours pass. The sun rises. The phone is ringing.

When you wake up, your alarm clock is blaring and the phone is ringing. By the time you will yourself to turn the alarm off, the phone has stopped ringing. You realize that it’s been ringing all morning. You slide out of bed and press the blinking red button on your phone as you stumble into the bathroom. The phone beeps, followed by the friendly, electronic voice. Hello. You have six hundred and sixty-six new messages. Message one. The phone beeps again, and you’re not prepared for what comes next.


Screaming.

You spin around, thinking that she’s standing right behind you. There’s pure terror in her screams, accompanied by other disturbing noises. You stand there, horrified, for about ten seconds. Screaming gives way to hysterical, garbled crying before dying out with the sounds of spilling meat and tearing flesh.

The phone beeps again. You’re shaking.

Message two.

A young girl and her parents were finding a baby sitter, and when they found one, the baby sitter came over and the parents went out. The young girl was in her room playing with her barbies when the baby sitter heard a scream coming from the rooms. In fright, the baby sitter ran to the girl. When she arrived at the door, the girl was crying. This went on throughout the hour, and eventually, the baby sitter noticed the barbies were EVERYWHERE in the house, and seemed to move while she wasn't looking. The young girl stayed with the baby sitter when her bracelet fell off, the baby sitter gave it to her. Then, a wallet came out of nowhere as it seemed, and the babysitter took a look inside to find a picture of a girl wearing the same bracelet as the girl she was babysitting. Frightened, the baby sitter found the girl hugging her. And, now the baby sitter was screaming, trying to get the girl to let go. The baby sitters green and yellow necklace fell off.
A while later, the parents came home to their daughter who was hysterical and the baby sitter no where to be found.

If you go to Woodstock every anniversary of the original concert at night, and start smoking pot, a hippie will approach you and ask for some of your weed. You must give him some, because no one knows what happens if you don't since no one had the guts to. When you do give him some, in return he'll give you a reggae shirt, and will say, “Spread the peace!” Which is exactly what you must do; give it to someone else.

If you don't, and put it on yourself, the pattern on the shirt will become part of you. The shirt is usually a regular Tye-dye pattern, which will result in the blotches becoming blood, and you bleeding yourself to death.

If you do give it to somebody, remember to tell them to pass the shirt on, the warning can either be vague, or specific. If you don't you'll usually die within 2-4 days. However, if they put it on, when they die their own horrible death, you gain all of their wealth, whether it be cars, money, jewelry or a combination of all of them.

A man was coming home in a hurry one day to tell his wife he had gotten a promotion. He was so happy and proud that he could provide all the income for his family and still have money to put in their son' college fund. When he arrived home, there was a pile of leaves in the driveway. He slowly drove through the leaves and hit a few bumps along the way.

Thinking he had merely ran over some toys, he quickly got out of his car and ran towards the door, not thinking twice. His wife was sitting by the fireplace. He told her the good news and then he was curious about the leaves. She said, "Oh, our son wanted to play in the leaves so he made himself a castle. He's probably still out there... why don't you go check on him?"

On any night with a full moon, open up iTunes, winamp, windows media player, or whatever you may use to listen to music on the computer. Put the player on shuffle, and at exactly 12:00 AM, start shuffling through your songs. Eventually, the player will land on a file called "This is your problem now.mp3"

Close your eyes and wait. For a minute, there will be silence, and after that, horrible screams of agony and torture will come from your computer speakers. Do NOT open your eyes, or images of the most incomprehensible evil will appear in your mind. For seven minutes, the screams will continue, becoming louder and worse every moment. Finally, when all goes silent again, open your eyes.

You will be in a subway, sitting on a bench next to a man. The man will offer you a cigarette-- if you refuse, you will wake up in your chair, and it will only be 12:01 AM. It will be as if nothing ever happened.

However, if you accept, he will light it for you, and then he will tell you all the secrets of life, and the universe. After he finishes, you will wake up in your chair, still with the knowledge the man gave you. Most people go insane from knowing, however, and many have killed themselves.