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 Posted: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:44 pm
Blog from mah 'space. Figured I'd actually post something in here for once, and what better to put than a recent ranty thingy from my most recent blog? =O
"So it's dawned on me forever ago that everyone has their own personality, but 99.99998% of them are boring as ********. [******** Apple, btw. They totally just threw ad update for their shitass "products" in my face. ********' rude?] Like, I've met maybe like one chick who's personality was actually intriguing to me, hence why I dated her a**. She was also kinda hot, and I'm pretty shallow, but whatever. I think the reason she was intriguing was because she wasn't as predictable as most of the music that's being shat out of FM/XM/AM radios these days. Ladies like to say that guys are so easy, predictable, etc. And they are. Very much so. Thing is, I don't think they see that they are, too. As long as a dude's got looks and a silver tongue and half a brain to know to lie, he can get into almost any chick's pants within a single meeting. Which is just what us guys want, some v****a. Thing is, I want v****a and an interesting mind. If you're boring, I'm boring, which is why most people like to call me boring after they meet me. They weren't interesting, I didn't give a ******** about them, so I entertained them with the same amount of effort I use to take a dump. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not actively hunting for a** like a hound. Quite the opposite, otherwise I'd be getting laid by at least two chicks a day in my current carless/homeless/jobless position. I know what I want in my life, I'm not veering off that course for an instant, and it has absolutely nothing to do with love, which is what everyone seems to get addicted to these days. Hell, if I wanted that all I'd have to do is find a crack house with soe crack hoes in it that are addicted to crack, get addicted to crack myself, have some crack orgies, and my brain would be all aflutter with chemical addiction associated with crack hoes, which would be love. Drugs are bad, you get addicted to them, so I don't do them. I'm tired of hearing bitches b***h about how guys are all dicks, I'm tired of hearing guys rant about how much a** they tapped and how hot and tight it was, I'm tired of hearing about other guys rant on how they put women on a pedastal, etc. It's all ******** retarded. I'm also tired of chicks actively trying to get me to fall for them with their one track instinctual mind. "Well don't you want to be with someone?" Well yea, and no. I don't want to be with someone, I want someone to be around me. I'm me. Entirely. There is no other half of me in female form, or male form in case anyone still has any questions on my gayness [it happens, a lot U_U] I don't believe in marriage. That's reserved for the materialistic in my mind. I want an independent partner, someone who willingly sticks around me and does the typical boy&girl stuff with me, but is entirely free to leave at any time if need be. Two wholes make twice as much as two halves, after all [in case you didn't get that, I'm a whole person, metaphorical female is a whole person, one plus one equals two as opposed to the 'my other half' weaklings who're obviously half a person], so why aim for less? Unfortunately it's pretty damn rare to find a chick like that these days. They put d**k before their own being. Finding a chick who has REAL personality, a mind separated from instinct, a smokin' bod, and some other quality I can't think of right now is hard to find. That's why I'm not bothering myself to look around. They're all underground and s**t like Bin Laden >_> Also, yes this blog was inspired by a bulletin from a lady on my friends list who I don't even talk to at all. END'CUZICAN'TTHINKOFANYTHINGELSETORANTABOUT"
What's us HPians have to say? I know my stand on my impossible standards is probably very much taken from being cheated on by the chick I loved more than anything, and I sound hypocritical, but I figured I'd see what you guys [mostly ladies actually, Will's the only other guy] have for feedback. Like, I feel extremely emotionally grey. Chicks don't even interest me anymore. It may also have to do with where I live, and the pickings are pretty...uh...low? Will'd know, he saw where I live, and he could imagine very easily the kinds of females that inhabit this area >___>; I basically feel like I deserve a lot more than I've been given the chance to get, and I haven't been able to find what I feel I deserve. The only time I did that I got cheated on like mad. Like, ******** the dude 5-8 times a day practically every day for seven of the ten months we dated mad. I don't really want to be so heartless, but I don't know how to stop being like that without being weak/unstable at the same time =[ I know my standards are high, I don't even meet my own standards. I'm pretty unable to meet them until I can get myself on my own damn feet.
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:22 am
Can't let one b***h ruin your love life.
And yeah, no need for love, blah blah, whatever, I'm just going to use the goddamned term because it fits, okay?
Yeah, I think you're perhaps a little put off by typical relationships due to having a good one blow up in your face...
Sure, lots of people, probably most people, don't understand relationships, don't understand love, don't understand how bloody boring they are.
But love isn't an addiction to endorphins, or sex, or anything else the other person provides you. It's not a need to be with the other person, not some dependence or need or any of that bullshit. It's all about the emotional connection, which is based on the mind and body as well. If you don't have all three it isn't going to work.
I must say, you're asking for a lot. A chick with a mind, personality, AND is super hot? Hah. You clearly must think you're an amazing catch. I don't think women fitting your description would care too much for arrogance. [Sorry, I'mma be an a*****e about this whole thing.]
They're not hiding underground waiting for their next strike. They're damn well taken, probably with some guy that totally doesn't deserve them.
Don't have expectations that you can't meet, or someday you'll get lucky, find some woman matching your description, and it'll be great, until one of you starts thinking that she's too good for you.
And if you're with a woman, and feel she could/should do something to better meet your expectations, suggest it, but don't harp on it. You'll only lead her to resenting you.
Being in a shitty situation can easily lower a person's interest, as well as lowering a whole bunch of other things... so don't worry too much about the greyness until you are back on your feet.
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Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:17 pm
I was actually expecting about three times worse from you, Rin >_>; I went into exaggerated detail about what I want, which is essentially just a lady I can stand to, preferably enjoy, looking at, have actual conversations with about anything, including some "intellectual" ones thrown in every now and then, and who isn't as original as cardboard. I match all those qualities myself, so I think I deserve someone about my equal, amirite? I think moving out of the area might help, too, because I've seen just about every chick around my age here, and they're coming from a pretty shallow gene pool >_>; No one who lives here amounts to anything, you have to leave here to go be something, and that's just not possible here.
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Posted: Wed Nov 26, 2008 9:25 pm
alright.. first thing first..
1. I applaude you for actually saying you deserve something good.. i like the confidence.. HOWEVER:
You seem to be asking for the perfect flawless girl.. however NO ONE in this WORLD is perfect.. it seems like one mistake they make would ruin it.. I've been told the following:
- You are perfect but you are like family to me
- You are perfect but you aren't pretty like so and so
- You are perfect but your confidence is an issue
im sure it was more the one thing.. but the point is. I CAN SEE YOU DOING JUST THAT..
you are going to have to be a bit more accepting of people.. especially in the LOOKS category.. if someone actually has a brain and personality.. and you like them although they might not be as hot as the girl with a tight stomach beside you. You grow to actually love them and notice how beautiful she looks.. this may sound cheesy but I would know because most HPers obviously realized i think im not the best looking girl in the world and what have you but my bf makes me think other wise..
2. and if you DO find this girly.. chances are she is going to be thinking the same thing you are. that you might not meet HER standards..
Also its understandable given the situation that you are feeling dead inside. things will brighten up as pieces come together.
if this doesnt make sense, it doesnt have to.. this is just something i blathered about and that i feel.. meh
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Posted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 1:10 am
That's what I wanted, more input, specifically female input. I don't demand that they be hot or anything, just pleasant to look at. Cute works perfectly fine, I'm nowhere near as demanding in their looks as I am in my own. I know I'm shallow, I know I'd turn down a chick to be in a romantic relationship with if they didn't look up to par to me, and I know people look better the more you know them, but that's nothing new. It's how to stop being like that that I'm trying to figure out. It's not just an extreme with people either. I don't really like anything in moderation. I need the best of everything I possibly can, I hate settling for less. I know you and Will can easily see that in my near-obsession in audio formats and qualities. I know it's not impossible to find someone who surpasses everything I'd want, I've done it before a couple times. I think I really just need to get out more x_X
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