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[P] A Disagreement

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CariRae

 
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 11:24 am


He could feel I wanted it,
but I didn't want him.
My body was saying one thing,
and my mind another.
Unfortunately, the body one.

I hated him,
but he had become nicer.
I trusted him,
and myself.
He was strong,
but I thought my willpower was stronger.
I was naive,
they both let me down.

I regret everything,
my body does too.
It wasn't fun,
and it hurt.
Why body did you have to let me down?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:15 am


I really like it! Other than some inconsistencies in your formatting, (decide whether you want to capitalize each line or not, you keep switching it up) you ideas are coming across strong, which I would condider the #1 rule of poetry.

love_song_from_your_heart

 
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CariRae

 
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:28 am


Every other one is capitalized because they are like sentences the second line is just a clause off the first one. sweatdrop
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