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So I had this funny though somewhat sad thing happen over my spring break.

I'm staying at my extremely passive aggressive grandmother's house, and she wants me to go to church with her. Now, understand, she and her church are the ultimate epitome of ultra-conservative, deep-south, stiff-collared church-of-christ types. I'm never one to be prejudiced against denominations, but even so the attitude presented at there was enough to set off my "inner-snarling" about going. Even my grandpa doesn't go, but I had already set myself in by the time I realized I actually had a choice.

So we go, I grab my bible and the celtic necklace that Nii-kun (Niccolo) gave me a while back, and I just wind it around my wrist since I'm already wearing a necklace. We get to the building and my "inner growl" gets louder, its suddenly harder to breathe, and I white knuckle Nii-kuns necklace as I walk into the doors.

Then it hits me: wait a minute. I'm a Christian, walking into a house of my own religion and I'm clutching a pagan symbol like a cross to a vampire. (Though, the necklace is of triquetras, which was adopted as a christian symbol later on so I guess that's debatable.)

Well, it got me musing; I consider myself firm in my faith and trust in the fundamentals of christianity, but what the modern churches have turned those teachings into, frankly, disgusts me. I've suddenly become a firm believer of the quote "I'm leaving Christianity in order to follow Jesus." And it's sad.

At any rate, I didn't pay attention to the sermon, I just read my bible the whole time, turning to random pages. Oddly, almost everything I turned to was on the subject of destroying Jerusalem/the old religion. Then I looked up at the preacher and suddenly a Death Cab for Cutie song wouldn't leave my head: "Burn it down, till the embers smoke on the ground. And start new when your heart is an empty room, with walls of the deepest blue..."

(Imagines people freaking out right now: O.o "Somebody stop her! She's gonna go psycho and burn the churches!") But it just made me wonder, if maybe, I should be one to help tear down this over-sold display of fake Christianity that seems to be burning down the rest of the world itself...?

(Hopes no one takes offense at any of this for any reason. Just my wandering thoughts.)

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*Pieces of a joke fall into place* huh. So that's what you were talknig about.

Anyway... Nice, Ro. Very nice.

Hmm. You do make sense, actually. *Shrug* It's possibly what I've done (I still have no clue what I believe in except for dualism) and it's been done before, with other Christians.

But yeah, you're right. The hardline, burn-em-all face is really disturbing... and destructive, too. *Snrk* Methinks you would actually like to come to chapel services at my old school... wait, no. Father Tim left for... umm... Dallyellup maybe? Hum. Well, anyway, I think you'd like these chapel services; the sum message boils down to the old Christian line "love thy neighbour". Which, it seems, is what you are looking for, dear sister.

Mayhaps you should become a parishioner yourself, spread the message you want heard to the masses.

*luffs Rabbit* Thank you for your concern, but I PROMISE I'm not leaving Christianity. 3nodding Not even tempted in the slightest. And this is sure not a sudden turn by any means, I've been pondering on this veiw since last summer.

I was simply making a point about some of the churches themselves; and how many spread the wrong message about the Christian faith. I've just seen it one (or two or three or four) too many times. But the corruption I see doesn't drive me away from it, in fact it drives me harder towards it to make things right.

*giggles at Nii-kun* Minister, huh? Well, I'm not totally terrified of public speaking but I'm definately an introvert... I wonder...

(Stop giggling sis. *poke* ^^ *giggles anyway*)

Well, little sister, I've occasionally considered it meself. *snrk* Given my run with religions, my momma was quite surprised to hear that.

I still wish you coulda gone to one service at St Mark's Chapel (the one on my school's grounds) 'cause I reckon you really would have loved it.

i guess people dont have the same thoughts about a same religion, that it why ypou must only follow your own and dont care what others think eh..

*just a responce to the outside world - not you dear -