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 Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 3:27 pm
This morning while I was putting in my contacts, my wife went to put the mail in the mailbox. Then she started screaming for help and I ran outside with only workout shorts on, a contact in my left hand, and one in my eye. A big black dog had chased my wife causing her to jump into the back of the truck. I ran the dog off, but it came back when she got out of the truck to chase her again.
I chased it off again and called animal control and they had to come shoot it with a tranquilizer and cart it away.
Then we went to Goodwill and I found an Eagles football helmet and the first 5 Harry Potter hardcover books for $19. I embarrassed my wife by wearing the football helmet all over the store and warned her that I would wear it to the grocery store and in the truck driving around.
When we got to the grocery store, my wife was paying for the groceries with dollar bills which usually only waitresses and strippers have as many as she does (she's a waitress). I noticed the cashier looking at the stack of singles and I spoke up and said it was stripper money. She kinda laughed and looked at my wife saying she knew my wife wasn't a stripper. I said of course not, she's a waitress.....I'm the stripper.
Now my wife won't take me anywhere. xd
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:17 pm
lmfao
if i were her, i wouldn't take you anywhere, either. 8D 8D
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First Wizard Zorander Crew
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Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:22 am
>¤<
I live in New jersey and my family are all Eagles fans. I would take you everywhere jsut for kicks biggrin
>¤<
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Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 8:48 am
lol You as bad as my mom that's why I go everywhere with her.
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Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 6:59 pm
I had to hide my helmet. My wife keeps threatening to throw it away. rofl
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:19 pm
LMFAO i can do you on better though (just in sheer stupid factor) i am an extremely clumsy person and i hae ha d a few moments wich i feel i should share
4) i was meesin around with this one kid and i jokingly tried to hit him in the nuts well he hit back WEARING STEEL TOE BOOTS i was hit soo hard i went airborne and was rolling on the ground in pain all the while laughing ma a** off now the entire school thinks i am a masochist
3) today i managed to walk into a wall mounted lamp not once not twice but 3 times and it was the same one every time
2) i went around last Halloween as a leprechaun with green shiny shorts and a box of lucky charms in the crotch running around screaming in an Irish accent "come here lasses and taste ma delicious lucky charms"
1) i was snowboarding and i managed to do (and i don't remember any of this i blacked out) a half a flip and land on my head i woke up to my buddy Dave looking over me goin YOU JUST HAULED a** DUDE well after going down to the ski hospital and getting checked out having no concussion or any injury i went home took two steps in the house and fell down a flight of stairs I GOT A CONCUSSION FROM FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS!!! yet not from hauling a** 10 feet in the air and landing on ma head
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