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 Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:23 pm
Name: Xamusel Uzumaki
Alias(Nickname): Xamu, Kuro Shinigami, Twister
Age: 18 (looks like he's 15 with a growth spurt of 1-1/2 feet or so)
Gender: Male
Height(inch/feet): 6'1"
Weight(pounds): 169
Hair style/length: Long Gold Hair halfway dawn the back in a braid
Eye Color: Crimson
Occupation: Student/Black Knight (pulls a Kallen Kozuki)
Allegiance(to whom/which country/etc.): Freedom of Japan and the end of the Britannian empire
Beliefs/Ideals: Hates those that look down on others based on race and physical disadvantages.
Rank: Ace Squadron
Knightmares Piloted/Piloting Currently: His father's Burai; His own custom-made Dark Samurai
Nationality: Japanese
Nobility: Not of nobility (hates the idea of nobility)
Appearance: When at Ashford Academy, he wears a variant of the uniform, as he has a thing for standing out in a place where nobody realizes that he has stuff going on that involves restoring the area. The variant is he wears a school jacket with a ripped left sleeve and a missing right sleeve with no undershirt under the jacket (he prefers to wear a tank top) and silver pants with platinum shoes, along with copper gloves on his hands, which will be explained later. While in the Black Knights, he wears a headband that covers his weird birth defect (he shows it off at school, but he doesn't want people to trace him back to the school unless he gets captured, when he has no other choice) of having the kanji for Earth on his forehead. Not only does he wear a headband, he wears a special uniform that shows off his mucular build, and keeps his pilot uniform on underneath. When he goes into the battle field, he shows off his four other kanji, which are Metal (on his right hand), Water (on his right foot), Wood (on his left foot) and Fire (on his left hand).
Personality: He is generally friendly and out-going on most occasions, which won't mean that he will back down from a fight if he has to fight it, which will be understandable to those that know him well from childhood on. He hates having to be a slave to society, and wants to fix the social structure, as he hates having to deal with problems that involve him being the suspect without fair trial. He is lax at school, which doesn't mean that he doesn't do well in school, but he is serious at being a liberator of Japan.
History: He was abandoned as a baby and found by a man named Minato Namikaze, with a note that explained that he was to be called Xamusel Uzumaki. As Xamusel grew to be 7, he learned how to use the katana in a style that hadn't been used in over a century, and he learned how to pilot a Knightmare frame from his "dad" teaching him how to pilot a Burai. His father was killed by the Britannians in the reinvasion, however, and that left him an orphan again... waiting to be brought up as a member of a normal family, waiting for someone to make sure that he gets raised as a proper Japanese, only for him to realize that he had to fight for a new future. He wanted a family that wouldn't turn their backs on him, he had to fight to have the future that he needed, and he was in no chance in hell going to be put through the slaughter house of a prison for doing things that were for the liberation of his country. He even built his own Knightmare with hand-built 9th generation technology inside that was meant to get the Gefjun disruptors defunct for his machine... which goes to show how good he got his machine to be for his revenge course against the Britannian system.
Creator Notes: This is probably the most in-depth that I've gone on a character for an RP in my entire life... on one go. Also, I'm just saying, for the Core Luminous and such, anyway, that he's good at hand-building his parts. He also happens to be good at keeping things from going out of hand with his machine and with others in the Black Knights... even if he doesn't tend to have a good social standing with people at times, which doesn't mean that he isn't good with people, it's just that he can't stand bullies and such that want to tear him down.
Well, what do you think?
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Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:44 pm
Very splendid appearance and consistency....
(Note, most of the following CAN apply to other people as well so yeah...)
However, current kmf tech limit is 8th Generation. Also, the earlier parts of your character's history does not support building his own knightmare. Don't worry that you're the only one who makes that sort of "mistake" (the quotes because sometimes it varies). The reason is primarily because it is both complicated and does have rather well... high expenses building one, nonetheless hiding one (one or both are possible for different character builds of course.) However...
Black Knight Ace Squadron members use custom knightmares... And do note that yes, the Black Knights do have their own R&D... (mind you, no sane--or even most insane--governing powers or their military branch would allow civilians to own their own knightmares...unless it's a purely civilian model.) But as stated previously Ace Squadron member + Black Knights R&D = Custom Knightmare. (Note: The EU and Chinese Federation MAIN forces are more or less catching up, but still inferior... but non-Main forces, well...)
But do note that the Ace Squadron member position has a 4 paragraph requirement on how he/she got to his/her position and their capabilities need to be listed separately. This is more or less to justify how a character got to his/her position. Generally speaking, the higher up one is, the more the requirement, UNLESS you're climbing the ranks as the RP progresses. (Do note that bare minimum 4 sentences per paragraphs are accepted. By the way, blocking everything gives impression of one paragraph.)
Overall.... 8.98/10 for your most in-depth smile (points marked off mostly for the lack thereof of support for position and slight inconsistency in the history as mentioned above.)
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Ogstrikezero Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 5:51 pm
Thanks for the review.
Okay, I will fix up the mistakes, so I will have to get back to this in a short while (I'm going to be busy with story work and such).
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