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 Posted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 2:10 am
SO AFTER GOING THROUGH HELL AND BACK.
Getting out of an abusive relationship, realising what we did wrong, not falling out of love with him, watching our lives slowly fall apart, watching us slowly die, waiting for a day where we can work again, wanting to be with him despite it all...
I remember he told me not to knock anything until I tried it.
AND SO,
lately I have the massive desire to 'misbehave', to do things I never would, to do things he would dare to do... to learn and grow from experiences.
I hate smoking and yet I want to try cigarettes and hookah.
I hate thinking of going back to cutting but I get so angry I can't help it.
I never thought I'd want to get drunk again but I think about it constantly.
I wanted to have sex with only him and now I want to have casual sex.
He's not healthy for me. Not good for me.
But I know I don't care. Because even if it tears me apart, there was once a time when he cared and loved me... and I fell in love with the sweet side he showed me. And even if this side of him is what will end me slowly and painfully, I welcome it.
Because I'm still as infatuated with him as I've ever been.
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Posted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:47 pm
oh wow....
that doesn't seem very healthy. sad heart
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Posted: Mon Apr 26, 2010 9:21 pm
U Are Officially The Coolest Girl I Never Met . . . I Wish I Known More Girls Like U
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Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 12:55 pm
I wish I could reread my post to see how exactly I am "the coolest girl" you've ever met, but I can't. I can't really bring myself to read it without losing it, so I won't try.
But thanks, I guess. O:
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Posted: Sat May 01, 2010 7:38 pm
the Winter Nocturne I wish I could reread my post to see how exactly I am "the coolest girl" you've ever met, but I can't. I can't really bring myself to read it without losing it, so I won't try.
But thanks, I guess. O: You're lazyyy.
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2010 6:06 pm
This seems really unhealthy.
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Posted: Fri May 07, 2010 2:38 pm
princess ai rules This seems really unhealthy. I agree. =P
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Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 2:22 am
I would kill myself if I was in that type of relationship, well not really, I've already seen it happen with my parents and they are divorced, and I personally promised myself not to follow those same foot steps. I dont know, I'm different, I'm one of those people who would like to be in Love but at the same time I don't need it, I don't have to get sad about it if I don't have soemone to share my life with.
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