Welcome to Gaia! ::

I've been a Catholic since I was baptized as an infant. I've had a very rough road with my faith versus my beliefs. In a ten year span, starting in childhood until my late teens, I lost 5 family members. How does someone who is taught that God loves everyone feel when their family members (grandfather, favorite uncle, grandmother) are taken away from them, never to be seen, heard, or talked to again?

The split with my church occurred in my late teens when I was confirmed. Before my confirmation, when they still had CCD sign-up, my mom asked me if I wanted a reading part during the confirmation mass. I replied that I did not. When the practice mass came, it was announced that I had ended up with one of the reading parts. I was quite angry at the time, because I knew that the CCD director had done it on purpose (I knew her from earlier, and she would purposely say my name to snap a picture). Unfortunately, I had believed that the priest was also in on the situation.

In the time that passed, I ended traveling down a very dark path, nearly turning to another religion I know I had no business traveling down. Something, right before I became a member of that religion, stopped me. I still am not quite sure what made me turn tail and run away from it.

Now, I want to come back to the Church, but it's the whole situation that has caused me to think that no matter how much I'd like to go back to church, I don't know if I will be welcomed back.

Any suggestions or Bible verses to help me find my way? It would be greatly appreciated!