So. Um. Hi!
Yeah. Not too sure what I'm doing starting a journal here, but I thought it might be interesting to keep track of the things that go through my head that I can't write in my other journals.
That, and to show Raven that I really am here and loving on the group. Honest! <3
I'm Chanel. Nel for short. I'm 20 turning 21 in August, engaged (long term engagement) to a boy named Jai. We are in a complicated sort of relationship I really don't feel like explaining right now, and we live with his family.
I'm an artist and I'm about to start a mid-semester course at uni to do with art.
I love my cats. I like cats more than people, and I am not exaggerating.
My favourite colour is red.
Now... Why I'm here.
I've not been diagnosed with anything yet, mostly because the doctors around here are hideously expensive or utter morons. Sometimes both.
All I know is that something isn't working properly, and it's driving me crazy. It changes a lot, sometimes adds things, sometimes things simply go away on their own. A lot of the time they come back.
I'm very... emotional. I'm not sure if that'll show up in my posts, but I'm either utterly detached or an emotional mess. I have terrible memory, and my thoughts don't make sense, even to me. It's hard for me to hold a conversation unless I can read it to remember where I was- which is the reason why I like journaling. I can keep track of my thoughts.
Thanks to my art background, it's easier to exist because everything is sorted into colours in my mind. Kinda like labels, little post-it notes on my thoughts.. This mist of colour around it.
I'm so tired right now. I'll post again later, I think... But that's enough for now. I might write up a nice list of all the things that stress me out later. Wont that be fun! /sarcasm.
Love.
She seems to be in a good mood today...
