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For people who love to read poetry, write poetry, or both 

Tags: poet, poem, poetry, writing, writer 

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Jesse Justine

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SerasuAlucard
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2010 4:18 pm


Heres what you need to know
I love my life but not everyone in it.
I almost lost my best friend over my boyfriend.
Her ex-fiance.
I know I broke the number one rule
"Never Date Your Best Friends Ex"
I've lied to my friends and teachers about having a child.
I've opened people's shells and let them run wild.
I'll tell you if I hate you or if I don't.
I speak my mind,
But never truely let anyone in,
Except my best friend.
She knows me in and out.
I'm her soul twin and she is mine.
I feel her physical pain and she feels mine.
From cramps to broken toes and sore elbows to a broken nose.
Even before we met, we were destined to be true friends.
I tell her when she pisses me off.
And she tells me to back off.
I've apologized to her,
And I want to apologized to everyone else.
I have good memories of my time as a Cleveland Eagle.
I wont trade them for anything
But I would trade for more of them.
I'm sorry my dear friends and my teachers too.
I'm sorry to you and even the Eagles,
I wish I knew.
Young Eagles feel lucky,
For you will never know of the sorrow I sew.
For foster care saved your souls,
From my dark heart.
I'm sorry everyone.

Comments anyone? :3  
PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:50 pm


nicely put, seemed like you learned a lot.

x6sarah-bear6x

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SerasuAlucard
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2010 9:31 am


Actually this is a persona poem that i wrote for my best friend cause she didn't know how to apologize to everyone at our school. So I wrote from her point of view.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 5:36 pm


Very good point, but try breaking it up into stanzas to make it a little clearer (if you don't want to it's cool). The main thing that bugged me was that it had no orderly rhyme scheme ex ABAB which I find important for a poem unless it's a free verse. Besides that, I liked the subject topic and how you delivered it


Auriga La Shock


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SerasuAlucard
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:22 pm


it was free verse i tried to rhyme to the best of my ability though
PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:41 pm


Out of curiosity is the title your friends name? It's a really cool name =D


Auriga La Shock


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SerasuAlucard
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 9:33 pm


yeah it is her name xd
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