All critiques are compiled from the feedback the judges sent in.

Over all, judges indicated that, while the stories were fun to read, it would have been nice to see some more diverse takes on the theme. Everyone went with a very literal interpretation despite that there was a lot of room for figurative and metaphorical interpretations as well.


Cheeva: 280

While some of the dialogue was a little stiff, and one can't really call the character portrayals accurate, per se, since that was intentional, it's forgiven. LoL

There was a lot of interaction with characters not your own, which was nice to see.

It was also nice that the whole ordeal was not just a random occurrence--Tari blamed herself and had her own theory of why it happened.

Great use of diction.

And everything was neatly tied up at the end with a rational explanation for things but with a bit of ambiguity there as well.

Kuro: 226

The style of the story is nice and the writing is well done.

The connection to the theme could have been expanded a bit and there was no real interaction with any characters other than your own. It would have been nice if you had brought in some other characters instead of just the ones you know best.

Off with their heads reference to Alice in Wonderland: nice.

The piece was a little confusing for those who don't have intimate knowledge of the world of Regalia and Selene's past.

In some cases it seemed overtly dramatic; fragmented sentences meant to emphasize a point were used too much and made the piece seemed choppy, instead. The piece dragged on longer than necessary in some areas.


Rin: 185

Insight into Tsura's feelings are vivid, though on occassion it got overwhelming. Toning it down just slightly would improve the piece. In fact, there was really little to the story beyond Tsura's feelings and personal experience. It would have been nice to have the story expanded somewhat.

Character interaction is so little it's nearly nonexistent. There was very little character interaction at all. The brief appearances with Cheeva and Seth did seem fairly accurate but it would have been nice for other characters to do more than cameo so briefly.

Concept of the mirror seemed tossed in merely to satisfy the dream state of Tsura and the round requirements. It was barely explored.

Overall, the story was about a very personal experience for Tsura and had little in the way of plot, beyond Tsura being frightened and confused before suddenly waking up. It felt a bit rushed, but given the problems with the deadline, it probably was.


ROUND TWO will be posted up soon.