"Ikorose, Shinsou"
Memoirs Of A Seriously Bored Man....
"Sayonara. Gomen na."
---------------------------------------------------
Hiya everybody!
I was kinda bored this last weekend. What with Aizen-sama away dancing with Bermudan dancing girls (though he denies it) while Kaname-kun and I...well, me anyway, were bored out of our collective minds with nothing better to do than tease Karen...
So, I got a couple of the Arrancar together and hosted the first official Mad Monster Movie Mayhem Weekend. My only regret was that I couldn't find a synonym for 'weekend' that began with the letter 'm'. That sort of sucked. Ah, but a person can't have everything, ya know. I even got Kaname-kun to join us, but he left after the first five minutes. Too bad, owes me 10 bucks, that man. He had said he could stand fifteen. Sucker.
But I digress...
The Espada found it riveting. I was pleased to see that Hollywood has not yet put a foot in Hueco Mundo, or Azien-sama would be hard pressed for supremacy...tee-hee! Not to mention that the stuff that makes people tear up over after having seen it for the millionth time is COMPLETELY new to 'em. Eh! 48 hours of non-stop dribble, and they sucked it all in!
Hmmm...
I wonder if Aizen-sama would like to consider Hollywood movies as a new source of mind-control for the Espada? Or me...Seriously, I tried my best, I really did, but after 18 hours and 15 dribble movies of assorted genres I was fighting to keep awake. So, not to be outdone by the Espada, I started taking notes to amuse myself. Not to mention keeping myself from thinking about my ever-numbing and sleeping rear...Almost had to go Bankai to get up after...
Looking these over now, I've decided to post them here for general prosperity, plus I get to while away the time until Aizen-sama comes back. He should know better than to let me go bored...
So here they are kids! For your (and my) entertainment! Bon a petit!
1¤¤¤¤ Catastrophe Movies...Not Just Figuratively...
a) You will be pleased to hear that regardless of the emergency (i.e. atomic explosion, terrorist attack, asteroid strike, or just your good old-fashioned Apocalypse), your mobile phone service will always work at the highest standards so that your loved ones may hear your dying words completely free from static. Well worth the rates they charge, huh?
b.) If you gotta go, ya gotta go. When escaping from the Bad Guys just hop into the first car ya see. It, naturally, won't be locked and the keys will be in the ignition, failing that, the glove-box...obviously...
c) When calling someone, don't bother with niceties like 'hello', 'goodbye', or who the hell you are. And when arranging a meeting, don't bother to fix the time and place, ya see, mobiles in America all have the new Telepathy (Copyright) extensions...
d) NEVER answer an unknown number. This is the fav way of detonating bombs, it seems.
e) Remembering phone numbers is easy, as they all start with 555, except God's number, which is 776-2323, no kidding. I think Aizen-sama will find it interesting.
2¤¤¤¤ The Horror...Not Just In Elm Street...
a) If the fuses blow in your house in the middle of the night, don't sweat it. The light that rickety old fridge emits that hasn't worked in years will keep you from bumping your shins into the furniture.
b) If your a woman and get woken up by a mysterious deep and, this is the whole point, completely unknown voice in the middle of the night, make sure you're wearing your most revealing nightgown. Me and Grimmjow have decided there are a few, er, people we'd like to try this one out on...
c) Why the need for hardware stores? All you could ever need is always lying around, conveniently within grasping range for all those peculiar situations, like, for when you really need to chop someone's head off.
3¤¤¤¤ Fem Fatale
a) A hot chick never goes to the Ladies'...Apparently bombs don't have a digestive system...
b) Don't worry, they'll never show you naked (dang...). They have these really wierd L -shaped blankets where the thing reaches up to the shoulders of the woman but never above the waist of the man lying beside her (double dang... burning_eyes )
c) Never worry about your make-up, it will always be picture perfect whether you are at the bottom of the ocean, or happily washing up after puking children. (Realistic, huh? LOL)
d) Before beginning ANY investigation, make sure you put on your sexy little reading glasses that you would never otherwise use. Oh, and make sure that when you're tying at the computer you type so that your finger NEVER, NOT EVEN accidentally hits the space bar. I gotta get me one of those PCs...I keep missing... xp
4¤¤¤¤ Macho Men
a) Never show pain. But if you're lucky enough to get mopped up by some hottie, make sure you groan pathetically over even the slightest scratch...I'm gonna keep this one in mind...
b) No need to run before a detonating bomb. It always go off EXACTLY the moment you get out the blast zone, and even if you get tossed by the shock wave, your hair will still be like you just came out of a salon.
c) During any and all investigations make doubly sure that you visit a strip-tease bar. Hmmm...I gonna have to make some sort of excuse to Aizen-sama. I might go and investigate the Mystery of Kaname-kun's Missing Glasses....comming soon... whee
5¤¤¤¤ Romance
a) Contrarily to all geographical sense, Hollywood seems to hold firmly to the belief that the Eiffel Tower can be seen from all the bedrooms in Paris.
b) For some reason, Paris seems to be the ONLY place people are allowed to fall in love. This may, or may not have something to do with the above.
c) If you do, against all odds, fall in love in New York, but break up in a super expensive restaurant. By all means, run out. They won't mind if you don't pay the bill.
Well kids...we sure learnt a lot during the weekend. Hope you guys spent the time learning something useful too, 'cause we sure as hell didn't.
"Just Kidding!"
"Bai Bai "
Memoirs Of A Seriously Bored Man....
Ichimaru Gin
"Sayonara. Gomen na."
---------------------------------------------------
Hiya everybody!
I was kinda bored this last weekend. What with Aizen-sama away dancing with Bermudan dancing girls (though he denies it) while Kaname-kun and I...well, me anyway, were bored out of our collective minds with nothing better to do than tease Karen...
So, I got a couple of the Arrancar together and hosted the first official Mad Monster Movie Mayhem Weekend. My only regret was that I couldn't find a synonym for 'weekend' that began with the letter 'm'. That sort of sucked. Ah, but a person can't have everything, ya know. I even got Kaname-kun to join us, but he left after the first five minutes. Too bad, owes me 10 bucks, that man. He had said he could stand fifteen. Sucker.
But I digress...
The Espada found it riveting. I was pleased to see that Hollywood has not yet put a foot in Hueco Mundo, or Azien-sama would be hard pressed for supremacy...tee-hee! Not to mention that the stuff that makes people tear up over after having seen it for the millionth time is COMPLETELY new to 'em. Eh! 48 hours of non-stop dribble, and they sucked it all in!
Hmmm...
I wonder if Aizen-sama would like to consider Hollywood movies as a new source of mind-control for the Espada? Or me...Seriously, I tried my best, I really did, but after 18 hours and 15 dribble movies of assorted genres I was fighting to keep awake. So, not to be outdone by the Espada, I started taking notes to amuse myself. Not to mention keeping myself from thinking about my ever-numbing and sleeping rear...Almost had to go Bankai to get up after...
Looking these over now, I've decided to post them here for general prosperity, plus I get to while away the time until Aizen-sama comes back. He should know better than to let me go bored...
So here they are kids! For your (and my) entertainment! Bon a petit!
Lessons From Hollywood
1¤¤¤¤ Catastrophe Movies...Not Just Figuratively...
a) You will be pleased to hear that regardless of the emergency (i.e. atomic explosion, terrorist attack, asteroid strike, or just your good old-fashioned Apocalypse), your mobile phone service will always work at the highest standards so that your loved ones may hear your dying words completely free from static. Well worth the rates they charge, huh?
b.) If you gotta go, ya gotta go. When escaping from the Bad Guys just hop into the first car ya see. It, naturally, won't be locked and the keys will be in the ignition, failing that, the glove-box...obviously...
c) When calling someone, don't bother with niceties like 'hello', 'goodbye', or who the hell you are. And when arranging a meeting, don't bother to fix the time and place, ya see, mobiles in America all have the new Telepathy (Copyright) extensions...
d) NEVER answer an unknown number. This is the fav way of detonating bombs, it seems.
e) Remembering phone numbers is easy, as they all start with 555, except God's number, which is 776-2323, no kidding. I think Aizen-sama will find it interesting.
2¤¤¤¤ The Horror...Not Just In Elm Street...
a) If the fuses blow in your house in the middle of the night, don't sweat it. The light that rickety old fridge emits that hasn't worked in years will keep you from bumping your shins into the furniture.
b) If your a woman and get woken up by a mysterious deep and, this is the whole point, completely unknown voice in the middle of the night, make sure you're wearing your most revealing nightgown. Me and Grimmjow have decided there are a few, er, people we'd like to try this one out on...
c) Why the need for hardware stores? All you could ever need is always lying around, conveniently within grasping range for all those peculiar situations, like, for when you really need to chop someone's head off.
3¤¤¤¤ Fem Fatale
a) A hot chick never goes to the Ladies'...Apparently bombs don't have a digestive system...
b) Don't worry, they'll never show you naked (dang...). They have these really wierd L -shaped blankets where the thing reaches up to the shoulders of the woman but never above the waist of the man lying beside her (double dang... burning_eyes )
c) Never worry about your make-up, it will always be picture perfect whether you are at the bottom of the ocean, or happily washing up after puking children. (Realistic, huh? LOL)
d) Before beginning ANY investigation, make sure you put on your sexy little reading glasses that you would never otherwise use. Oh, and make sure that when you're tying at the computer you type so that your finger NEVER, NOT EVEN accidentally hits the space bar. I gotta get me one of those PCs...I keep missing... xp
4¤¤¤¤ Macho Men
a) Never show pain. But if you're lucky enough to get mopped up by some hottie, make sure you groan pathetically over even the slightest scratch...I'm gonna keep this one in mind...
b) No need to run before a detonating bomb. It always go off EXACTLY the moment you get out the blast zone, and even if you get tossed by the shock wave, your hair will still be like you just came out of a salon.
c) During any and all investigations make doubly sure that you visit a strip-tease bar. Hmmm...I gonna have to make some sort of excuse to Aizen-sama. I might go and investigate the Mystery of Kaname-kun's Missing Glasses....comming soon... whee
5¤¤¤¤ Romance
a) Contrarily to all geographical sense, Hollywood seems to hold firmly to the belief that the Eiffel Tower can be seen from all the bedrooms in Paris.
b) For some reason, Paris seems to be the ONLY place people are allowed to fall in love. This may, or may not have something to do with the above.
c) If you do, against all odds, fall in love in New York, but break up in a super expensive restaurant. By all means, run out. They won't mind if you don't pay the bill.
Well kids...we sure learnt a lot during the weekend. Hope you guys spent the time learning something useful too, 'cause we sure as hell didn't.
Bai, Bai!
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--------"Just Kidding!"
"Bai Bai "
