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I want to know if I am being abusive.. I really love my boyfriend and want to make things work. My parents had a ******** up relationship and divorced when I was 3, my dad broke my mothers nose, even once. Though he denies it to this day. I have depression and anxiety, I am a trichotillomaniac. I get upset easily as well when I am in pain, I have a chronic disease called, Ulcerative Colitis, and I have been having a lot of flare-ups because I am missing my medication. I am getting help, but I just want to know if it is too late.

When I upset my boyfriend he gets really angry and just completely ignores me. He acts like talking to me isn't worth his time and says that it's only okay to talk when I want to, which isn't true, he likes to be controlling and ******** with my emotions knowingly. A few weeks ago he was ignoring me and would not listen to me again. I cry in these situations and the fact that I cry means nothing to him. I kept crying and screaming at him but he wouldn't say anything. I got so frustrated that I slapped him. I felt much remorse right after however. Every so often when he ignores me I swipe his hand or scream at his face, climb on his chest, make him face me, don't let him walk away etc... I love him so much and I feel so confused... I don't know what to do.. I am depressed because I am unemployed, starting school soon and my disease is severely hurting me... I feel so lost and alone.. I am scared of pulling my hair out and striking my head against things again.. Please help me...

It's not good that you slapped him. But it also sounds like he's being a jerk. Saying, "Let's both cool down and talk about this a little later," would be one thing. But totally ignoring you or telling you that you two can only talk when he wants to is not cool. How does he expect anything to be resolved if he won't talk to you about problems in the relationship? In my opinion, by ignoring you he might as well be saying, "I don't care about you or this relationship enough to try to work things out. If you calm down and we stay in a relationship, fine. If you don't calm down and end up calling this off, fine. I am not putting in any effort either way." Maybe some time when you're both cooled down you can ask him why he responds that way or maybe you two could try couple's counseling. But if you can't work this out, you might have to think about whether this relationship is healthy for you to be in. Some people bring out the worst in us and just aren't healthy for us to be around even if we do love them.