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 Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:14 am
Just gonna repost my facebook status here...
You know, I finally get it. I finally understand the song "Somebody that I used to know". And you know what? I'm on her side. Every day, I hated being reminded that you missed me, and that you wanted us to go back to being more than friends. I hated all the inquisition, I hated every time you would remind me of how hurt you were. I hated trying to be your friend while you tried to guilt me into being more, while saying you weren't. I tried, I tried every moment of every day, and you acted like I never did. So yes, I went away. I disappeared without a trace. I stopped being a part of your life. But, don't you dare make it sound like it is all my fault. You had your part to play in this, as well. But, I will never tell you this. That's just not the kind of man I am- I don't go out of my way to hurt people. It looks like you do, however.
It gets harder every day to keep doing the right thing. I've been honest, I've made efforts, I've been consistent, I've been as obedient to my parents as I can, and I'm doing the best I can with my friends and family. I'm doing it right for once, but it's just...it's hard. And I'm tired. I'm tired of still feeling like some ******** up monster even though I've done nothing wrong. I'm tired of friends deciding I'm not worth as much as gossip or drugs, I'm tired of my family assuming I'm just some a*****e who ******** everything he sees, and I'm tired of people leaving me... Cameron came and just randomly got me at my house yesterday. No warning. I had no response for that kind of gesture. Then, I got to the Squirrel, and heard sad news about a man I played Malifaux with- He died in a motorcycle accident. It was a blow, and it was sad to see a good man go. I'm not in a rough spot right now, though, guys. I'm fine. I'm just tired of the world trying to change that...
And now, someone who I used to love more than anything, who I held precious above all else, who claimed to love me back...how can you say that, when now you drip venom in my eyes, and bite deep into me like a knife?
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:46 am
Sounds like you need to go on a long road trip to anywhere. I should come find ya (if I ever win the lottery) and we'll go road tripping in some other country and act like theres nothing else in this world. And we'll kidnap Cherry as well. XD
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:51 am
I love travelling, you seem cool, and Cherry is one of my favorite GAIAns...sounds like a good idea to me.
I can't wait, I have two trips coming up this summer.
I justdon't know how to respond...that comment is just sitting on my profile, antagonizing me...I feel like the worst person alive right now, and all because I hurt someone who hurt me first...wtf...
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:05 am
It would be fun. XP
Well, if they hurt you first and you hurt them then think of it as your both even now and dont feel sorry or even worry about. Its called karma. 3nodding
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:33 am
...never have I wanted to give someone a hug through the internet more..
Hope things start working out better soon. Because I honestly suck at advice..
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:42 pm
Standing up for yourself is no crime.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:50 pm
I'm totally willing to travel with anyone that randomly shows up in one of the four states I can drive to. 4laugh
And don't feel bad about hurting the person who hurt you. Golden Rule remember?
Treat others how you want to be treated. Ho deserved it. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:53 pm
Why can you only drive to four states...? xD
And...I do my best *salutes* I just also hate hurting people. I always feel like the bitterness is my fault.
The worst part? I'm talking to her still, being very friendly...and she still refuses to see that she had any fault in this. That treating me like an emotional punching bag and leaning post for YEARS made me feel like she just didn't actually care...she just keeps saying "You could have told me!" and I tell her that I did tell her, and she would freak out, every time "Yeah, but I felt bad about it! I always blamed myself!" "Really? Could have fooled me..."
Because seriously, not once did that girl ever blame herself except in the biggest, guilt-trippingest way ever...
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:23 pm
Because I'm not 100% sure that my car could make it farther. rofl
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:26 pm
Quick, Cherry. GRAB MY HAIR!
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 9:04 pm
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Reply
