pineapple07
Honestly during the argument you described I would have kindly said to them both, "Look it's late and I'm tired, you are BOTH being very disrespectful to me by bringing your argument in to my personal space." Then I would have told her to leave the room since your father could sit in there calmly, if he followed her then again it's his own stupidity. There's only so many times you can have that conversation honestly.
I forgot to include that he wasn't in my room calmly. He was tweaking just as much as she was as soon as she started. In these kinds of situations I think "Maybe my dad wants me to say something" but I still feel guilty. The way I see it, he's old. He doesn't want to be alone at his age. That's the entire reason this is going down. When you get older, it gets harder to let go of these kinds of things and when you have bonded with someone it's like Toon said, it's a different point of view. There's more at stake.
The thing is, I am tired of her raising his blood pressure for dumb reasons, but you see it's hard to interfere because I am not sure what path to take, or what my dad wants. It's obvious he likes her or else he wouldn't be getting so upset with her and these trust issues... who am I to just break it off or tell them both to gtfo when my pops might just be reaching out to me. It's all mixed signals and no matter how much I wanted them both to just go away I can't neglect the facts and that I really hate her doing this to him.
Toon
It might be worth asking him a question that digs up the logic behind this, but at the same time I don't know the status of poking into your parent's love life. For all I know it's one of those things you stay shut up about, like different political views.
Could the two be facing situation a lot like an opiate addiction, where you keep making the same mistake over and over, chasing to feel what was felt the first time but it simply isn't possible?
This has to do with what I said above as well. It's exactly as you say. When you have a relationship with someone there's no reason for someone else to pry in it whatsoever, but it makes me feel bad that pops is taking all of this crap all the time. What am I to do? When they break up he's just depressed and sits in his room all day. I don't even get to spend time with my dad he's either out with her or, not doing anything.
What you said secondly seems exactly right. They have been on and off forever. When you really care about someone, it just feels like you never want to let go, but when you have been through as much as they have it's incredibly difficult to trust anymore but they just really want to make it work... and can't. The whole thing's out the window and it seems obvious to me it's not repairable. I understand their feelings, and I know they care about each other but this level of constant arguments and... everything. It's inevitable. Highlight being I can't blame them, the kind of stuff is in human nature. Of course you're gonna fight for what you love. Shrugging it off just makes me feel like more of an a**.
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