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 Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:13 pm
Meh... this post is simply done to get things off my chest. You don't need to read it or... blah. I'll just write and you will just ignore it. Since you are all like my family I though posting it here would be a good enough idea maybe atleast to stop me from my crying. I am too ashamed to tell anyone directly how I feel so...
I've been all boohooish recently, I hadn't been before for this reason but... my mom was talking to me about him today... and I kinda made me cry. I'm actually still crying as I write this *nods* I try not to seem sad most times.
The reason I am crying is because my father abandoned me. He just left the island without saying anything to me. He disapeared. I don't know where he is. I don't know if he is alive or if he is ill or... I haven't seen him since ways before christmas and I know I should be over it by now... but... I think... its not as easy as I though. I don't like to talk about it... to anyone for that matter. Not even my mom knows how I feel about it, not even my bestest of friends. I miss my father. Even when he was in the island I was allienated form him... but... I new he was there... I knew he would be there on the other side of the phone.
I miss my little sister, I can't even remember her age... I can't remember the last time I saw her or how long her hair was. My dad took her with him... I am sure... but he left me here and didn't say goodbye.
I though of him for my birthday too, I hoped I would recieve phonecall from him saying hello... anything... but again... I got nothing
My father must hate me... if he just left like that then... he must just hate me... I see no other reason other than the fact I am a bad girl.
My daddy doesn't love me
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:22 pm
I'm so sorry Piya...*hugz her*. That's always a hard thing to go through, especially if they leave without warning like that. But even if your father is gone, just remember that you will always have people who care about you, and love you, even though you may not be aware of it. This will be really hypocritical coming from me, but don't keep your feelings pent up. It's okay to cry, and after you do, you come out stronger, although you may not know it. I'll be keeping you in my prayers, and in my heart. heart
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Posted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 10:20 pm
*huggles Piya*
Well, I think it's good for you to release all that pent up stress and emotion. ^_^
And if your dad doesn't really care, then it's HIS LOSS!!
You are a very sweet and caring person and no matter what ANYone says, you WILL always have people who love and care about you.
I can relate to your loss. My dad left when I was 11 years old and I didn't see him for TWO YEARS! I was upset at first that he didn't say goodbye or at least call to let me know he loves me. I thought he didn't want/love me anymore. Then after a while I realized that I am a very special person, who doesn't need to determin her own self worth by how much her father loves her. I am my own, smart, pretty and independent person and I have other people who love me. I think you should start focusing on the people who care about you now. You will see you dad again. No father can stay away forever. heart
We're here for you, luv. *huggles you again* heart
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Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 5:56 pm
Sry to hear that Piya, but Im sure that he DOES love you and its not your fault that he left and like crystalmuse said, its his loss.
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Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 7:22 am
Thankies... all of you... I guess... I just needed someone to know. I feel better now I suppose *smiles* Thankies...
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