|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Feb 05, 2025 6:36 pm
Staff Member Meltzer stands in the middle of the ring. He remembers last year, when Cartwright chastised him for not securing the invitations for all potential guest hosts for WrestleMania. He's nervous and practically shaking as he lifts the mic to his mouth.
"Well... you know, it gives me great pleasure to welcome this year's host for WrestleMania, so please come on down!"
The crowd boos when Staff Member Russo walks out from behind the curtain to join Staff Member Meltzer in the ring.
SMM: "What are you doing, Vince? Cartwright will kill us if we screw this up after what happened last year!"
SMR: "Bro, my best bro Cartwright found the perfect host, bro! He personally made sure that his invitation was sent by his security staff! After what that Snypa Rifle bro did last year, Cartwright is gonna be happy with this year's WrestleMania host! So, host bro, come on down!"
Woke up this mornin'! (Yeah!)
You got yourself a gun!
While Staff Member Meltzer and Staff Member Russo facepalm, the crowd explodes! For the second year in a row, the Demented Genius of Extreme, the Snypa Rifle, appears to be hosting WrestleMania. He walks down the aisle, rather than his usual driving of a vehicle, wearing a black suit and matching face paint, sliding under the bottom rope and jumping to his feet, taking in the stunned looks on the faces of Meltzer and Russo as the crowd continues to cheer. Finally, the music stops.
Snypa: "I bet you didn't expect to see me again!"
Crowd: "WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!"
Snypa: "I know, I know, we all know what happened last year: I saved WrestleMania from being hosted by the guy I actually hate more than Cartwright and proceeded to give you all an epic banger between Staff Member Meltzer and Staff Member Bischoff. Uncle Dave, are you still walking funny after that beating? I was gonna give that match two stars because it wasn't in the Tokyo Dome, but I give it three because I was the referee!"
Crowd: "THAT MATCH SUCKED! THAT MATCH SUCKED!"
Snypa: "Do y'all hear me arguing with you? Anyway, I'm here at the Royal Rumble tonight, because this came into my possession..."
Snypa reaches into his suit jacket, producing a shiny gold envelope with the authentic official seal of WWFG. Staff Members Russo and Meltzer gasp. Not again! Cartwright's gonna kill them!
Snypa: "It's amazing how much money a kid's television franchise mogul like myself can pay to keep my ears to the streets, so when I found out that Cartwright was going to AGAIN ask Chris Brown to host WrestleMania, I thought to myself... 'No.' However, I thought to myself that maybe this year, while I'm the host WrestleMania in Las Vegas deserves, simply because I hate Cartwright and any chance I get to spite him is one I'll happily take, I'm not the host it needs. So, I'm going to hand this invitation over to the REAL host of WrestleMania! Or should I say, co-host?"
Staff Member Russo gives off a sigh, until he hears the theme song of the Jim Cornette Experience, and Staff Member Cornette is greeted by cheering fans when he steps through the curtain, wearing his finest suit and carrying his signature tennis racket!
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2025 4:34 pm
Staff Member Cornette takes both the invitation and the microphone from Snypa as the crowd sings the refrain of his podcast's theme song.
"GET THE EXPERIENCE! GET THE EXPERIENCE! GET THE EXPERIENCE... OF JIM CORNETTE!"
Staff Member Cornette is humbled by the reception before he speaks.
SMC: "Well, I know I said that my days of traveling the road are done, but this is a breaking news edition of the Experience!"
The crowd cheers when Staff Member Cornette rests his signature racket across his shoulder.
SMC: "Now, I ain't gonna hold you here very long, because you all, like me, came to see some wrestling, not people talking! Snypa, after the job you did at WrestleMania last year, I have a job for you at WrestleMania this year! You're gonna referee a match, but not just any match! You're gonna referee one that's been in the making for almost thirty years, 'cause these invitations and their terms and conditions are ironclad, according to the photos you sent me. In one corner, you're gonna see Shitstain here grow a set and teaming up with him is gonna be Uncle Dave, since we all know that Shitstain doesn't have the balls to fight me on his own!"
Snypa: "Can I announce this one? Please?"
Staff Member Cornette hands the mic to Snypa. "Go for it, son!"
Snypa: "Standing across from Staff Members Russo and Meltzer will be the greatest duo to ever pair up since the Inversions, the Bravehearts and the Midnight Express! At WrestleMania, Staff Member Cornette steps away from his headset and microphone and laces up a pair of New Balance when he teams with the other co-host of WrestleMania, the King of the Arcadian Vanguard, Mr. Co-Host to you all, that's right! Staff Member Last will make his in-ring debut when he pairs up with Staff Member Cornette outside their podcast and take on Staff Member Meltzer and Staff Member Russo! And yours truly will be there to don the stripes and oversee the action!"
The fans go nuts! The Staff Member Cornette Experience are gonna wrestle?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2025 2:29 pm
Before any more words can be exchanged, Staff Member Cornette smashes Staff Member Russo over the head with his signature tennis racket while Staff Member Meltzer flees from the ring, backing up the aisle as the audience burst into cheers. Staff Member Cornette picks up a microphone.
SMC: "Did I mention that I don't want anything stopping me from stopping Uncle Dave and Shitstain's collective breathing, so our match at WrestleMania is gonna be a Las Vegas Street Fight?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
