Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm 17.. I don't feel rushed.. I'm EXTREMELY mature.. pschologist told me I was really about 27 to 30 emotionally and mentally, and I've been very aware of the reality of the world since I was eleven or so.. When the feeling started.. And when I say that in my fear? It's more like whatever I do now, or have done, there's something wrong with it. Like it's not real, or it wasn't supposed to be done. Anything I say I'm going to do sounds just stupid coming out of my mouth.. I'm going to be a Neurosurgeon for crying out loud! It really feels like I'm supposed to be doing something profound.. something EXTREMELY important.. But it's not, well, natural.. It feels like it has something to do with the supernatural really.

Then, another thing... These dreams with the shadow have been happening for just 3 weeks now.. I have them every early Friday morning, from 1-4am. I don't know why they're just starting to pop up, but my real birthday was on a Friday.. and I'm about to turn 17 then. Something's telling me it has to do with my birthday, like something's going to drastically change about me or the reality I know. I'm not sure.

These "dreams".. I put that in quotes because I can't really differentiate between reality or dream sequence with these.. Are always of a Shadow in this order, thus far:

1. Finished letting my dogs out, standing on the back porch ready to go inside.. I become paralyzed and I can't move. Something's telling me there's something out in the backyard watching me, but when I turn to move it takes forever! When I finally see it's a shadow ... a basic outline of a human figure.. I get this overwhelming fear.. (like off of The Ring) like I could absolutely die because I'm so terrified of it. It doesn't move or say anything. I wake up and still can't move for another 30 seconds or so.. 2 minutes later the same paralyzed feeling comes over me and I get chills up my spine and my heart races..

2. I'm sleeping on my bed, in the dark.. I'm laying on my stomach and my head's facing towards the left. I open my eyes and there it is... Like laying on my bed with me. It's just a bit lower than my line of vision, but yet again, it's just a shadow, there are no defining features or anything. I can't move of course, but I begin struggling to move and yell, anything... I succeed in moving my arms just a little, and balling my fists up. It doesn't move. I hear a sound and I quickly turn to see what it is. I've realized I've moved and turn to look back to see it's not there anymore. My chest burns (not in a physical sense, it's more like my soul) when I finally catch my breath.

3. (this early morning) I don't see the shadow this time, and I'm laying on the couch on my side and I can't move, now this time it's different. I struggle and I can turn on my back.. I feel my chest burn again, and it feels like something's entered me.. Like it possessed me or something. I lash out, and I can swing my arms just a few inches above my abdomen, and it exits me... This goes on for about 10 minutes.. When I try to scream I can.. but it's more like an "Aaaaargggh..." sound comes out when I try. I wake up and I'm visibly shaken, sweaty and dizzy.. My brain still seems to be trying to process whether I'm still dreaming or awake...

i read about this somewhere... i recall something about shadow demons, paralysing fear, taking/ putting in souls, hmmmmm...

ok... heres what do do:
carry a cross and/or bible around with you at all times. if you see this "shadow demon" then hold up the cross and/or bible and say "in the name of jesus christ, leave me alone!" make sure you say it VERY firmly and stay in comtroll. the MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is that if you are scared, you will be paralysed. most demons and shadows feed off of fear.

i hope this has helped.