Here I write, safly hidden. Safe with myself to call upon strength within the written word. Goddess, help these pains and shivers that run along all my body. Mother's boyfriend has gone, leaving behind Mother and her bruised nose, sister in fright and I the Peace Maker, shedding tears I never thougt I possesed. Certainly there are many other misfortunates to have witnessed a fight...or a hundred. Domestic violence which lead to nothing but the misunderstanding of the home

All I hope from this experience is that I would not have to visit a psychiatrist or psychologist. Hopefully, none of this will effect my mind...perhaps it will not cause it to faulter. I do not want to be sent into meetings with counsilers and of that Sort. I am well enough to know I am fine and will be able to adjust myself to the needs of my mother. Even if that means giving up what I love dear. All band programs...which I have over exhausted myself in an effort to do as much as I can before graduating and the Internet. For If I gave up the privledge of being online I would be able to work and do homeowrk on time to keep up with my studies.

It brings me pain, to see such an asset to this family leave. My mother has lost her respect for him. Bu then again, we knew. We knew he had a drinking problem and knew something would happen. The poor dog was already injured in a scuffle a couple of weeks ago and now, my mother. That is not acceptable. Especially, when it is mere hours until Christmas Morning. I suppose, things happen for a reason...but still...my holidays have been ruined and I am left to ponder on things. What are we going to do? I know we can't afford where we live without help and I know my mother's boyfriend will leave after this...see, Mother wants him out. I think I am hurt, but am uncertain seeing as how I'm in pain in the strangest of places, and my glasses have been lost in the scuffle. I can see only near and steadily I loose my vision. Hopefully, I'll find the lenses before I go back to school...or else, I don't know what'll I'll do...We'll do.