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 Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:39 am
Every forum could use one of these threads, don't you think? BUmp the thread for the gold. When we reach some ungodly number of pages, we'll have a prize. How about 500??
Only one stipulation...You must POST A JOKE TO BUMP!!!
rofl That's the hitch. None of this random 300 pages of 'bump' posts. LOL Bump with a joke. Use an actual joke, a knock knock joke, one liners, funny quotes from your favorite shows. Make us laugh. That is all. blaugh
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:40 am
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop, clop?
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An amish drive-by shooting. rofl
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:41 am
How are a texas tornado and a tennessee divorce the same?
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Somebody's gonna lose a trailer. rolleyes
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:42 am
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
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Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:51 am
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? rofl What if there were no hypothetical questions? rofl When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? rofl May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. rofl Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. rofl
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:54 am
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:57 am
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:03 am
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause there is a law against it.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think genitalia is an Italian airline.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:04 am
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
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The dog plays with it more.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:05 am
How do you make a dead baby float?
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Take your foot off of it's head.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:07 am
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
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Depends how hard you throw them.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:21 am
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:23 am
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:24 am
Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:26 am
Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
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Reply
