Anyways:
A SHATTERED TILE©
By Michael Phan
When we were walking through the woods I did not notice that the plants were so beautiful until I reached the end of the river, the mouth. It was one of the most amazing sites I have ever seen in my entire life. I sat down and filled my water bottle up at the lake. It was so pure and clean. I was surprised that no one had ever found this graceful land. I would pay more then a thousand dollars to be able to see this land once more. I don’t remember a time when I couldn’t find the ways of the mice and I couldn’t find it when I searched through the cold plains. Monkeys were flying everywhere then I glanced to my left and saw a tornado zip right through and carry a donkey from my house to the barn of Alabama. It’s a strange world out there while donkeys are roaming the barns of Arizona. Peaceful sheep of Ohm does not falter what is thy name of Ogre. For what is not the very essence of life? Is it the beautiful warming of the skittles rainbow, or the farming of the donkey itself? I find these things strange. Because skittles rainbows started to occur in France while at the same time people were running around screaming, “WHERE IS THE PUDDING?!” It’s everywhere while we sing “Drunken Sailor.” I find things in the bottle caps of Cokes highly overrated. -WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR AT DINNER TIME! - I screamed with the utmost intensity of a thousand snails riding a piccolo of cheese while singing “WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR AT DINNER TIME!” I gazed up at the most beautiful cans of beans I had ever seen in the whole box of crackers. It said “beans” on the can. I believe that is quite an awkward name for a bean can, but I am not complaining about what I believe in that is which is most important to the likes of me, kindly fiddling with the swordfish while it poked and poked at his brain, “ELENDIL” he shouted at the girl who shouted, “ELENDIL” he shouted at the girl who shouted back, “ERGO!”
While the young “dude” was attempting to find his car I swam up on shore and planted a lima bean plant on the dock while dolphins behind me sang “WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR AT DINNER TIME!” Believe what you want said the old fiddled monkey who was wearing a tuxedo while the Riders of Rohan took out their light-sabers and screamed “SHOPPING IS FUN!” while they hacked away at the evil lima bean plants. I did not ever see such a frightful sight. I ran up to my master and said, “Vis-à-vis!” He replied with a great high pitched sissy school girl scream. “YAWP! YAWP!” he said with the Canadian tongue. I nodded understanding what he meant and took out my coconut and cracked it open with a banana. Cheese began to fall out and spill everywhere as if water was falling from a-LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATE. “I will not give them the bowling ball!!!” I screamed at the goldfish. “I WILL NOT!” For what the dog tolls, it tolls itself! For what the human perceives as a drop of coffee is what it is. IT IS WHAT IT IS! I do not want to smash my head into the wall, but I do want to smash my head into the wall. It seems we are evenly matched, the whale and I. AHA! But I have a secret plan! To take out the trash, wash the dog, and scream at the brick wall! IT IS WHAT IT IS! The evil 2 and half headed whale and I glared at each other. He did not phase a bit so I decided to sing him a lullaby. He died. I mourned for him while I talked to my mother on the phone about fish.
For not! For him! For he! For she! For you! For who! For I! Will DIE!-Please!
THE END
