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 Posted: Sat Jul 07, 2007 6:45 am
I crawl at night
Waiting for a taste
Compeletely out of sight
Of the human I chased
Sitting right besider her
Under the covers tight
With her pleasant pur
She's in for it tonight
I bite once from anger
I bite once more from sorrow
That's right, I blame her
Because I don't know if I'll live tomorrow
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:32 pm
I feel just a tad isolated.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:42 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:32 am
Haha, that’s neat X] Never read a poem on a spider. Good job, I like it. Runs together very nice. Charmed I’m sure
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Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 7:28 pm
I'm tempted to say that spiders rarely bight unless provoked, but I'll hold my tongue in that regard. It's short, but sweet. I think you can add a bit more to it, as to why the spider is biting her. It sounds like a good start to a metaphorical poem. Like, the spider is really a broken hearted guy, and the lady is a b***h who cheated on him.
One thing:
Sitting right besider her
Might want to fix that. ;]
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